Kyo's Nightmare
by Musicookie
Summary: Kyo's life is perfectly fine. That is, until Yuki drops a bomb on Kyo's life. How will Kyo deal the change? Or rather...is there any way for Kyo to escape? Kyo's ultimate nightmare begins.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Kyo stood up. "Ya' damn rat!!! Now look what'cha did!!!"

Yuki remained hunched over the remains of what might have been a door. It was too broken to tell what it was now. Kyo and Yuki had reluctantly agreed to fix it, since Tohrue had asked them. She had housework of her own to get done because Kagura had come over. And whenever Kagura and Kyo are in the same room, things often become broken due to Kagura's violent love towards Kyo.

"It's your own fault, you stupid cat. If you hadn't broken the door in the first place, we wouldn't even have to fix it," Yuki accused.

Taping the panes back together and laying paper over the panes was tedious, frustrating work. Not only was it hard work, but being in each others' company made it worse. Therefore, after the first hour or so, tempers had been running dangerously high. And they had been doing this all morning long.

Kyo kept screaming on. "But you just ripped it more right there!! You just made it worse!!!"

"Not any worse than it was after you decided a closed door was a suitable escape from Kagura."

"Why the hell are you blaming me!!! It's her fault!! I didn't want her to come over anyway!!"

"Always blaming others," uttered Yuki darkly. He stood up and faced Kyo. "I've had it with your attitude."

"Oh, really!!! You wanna fight then? FINE!! Let's go, pretty boy!!"

A call came from the other room. "You two had better stop breaking my house!!" Shigure walked to the doorway. He clutched his heart and put on a face of exaggerated grief. "The main house has cut funding for repairs, and poor Tohrue already has enough to take care of. School, a part-time job, cooking and cleaning…oh!" Shigure sighed dramatically. "And to think you two will load more work on her! Her beautiful soul will break if she has anything more to do, like fixing ceilings or doors. You should be ashamed!!"

"Yeah, like you're one to talk. At least we're trying to work. But YOU never do anything around here," said Yuki.

"OH!! I think I hear the phone ringing! Don't anybody get up, for _I_ shall go and answer it!!!" Shigure dashed away.

Yuki mumbled, "Idiot…" He squatted back down over the door. "Well?" he said. "We need to fix this door. Hand me the tape."

"Don't order me around, ya' damn rat!! Get it yourself!"

"Listen, you stupid cat…"

They heard a cheerful call from the front hall. "I'm back!"

It was Tohrue, home from the store. She entered the room, holding a bag. "Hello Yuki, and Kyo. Here. I got more rolls of paper for all the doors that get broken around here."

Yuki stood up and smiled kindly. "Thank you, Miss Tohrue. We were running out and this was exactly what we needed." She handed him the bag.

"You're welcome! Thanks for fixing this door. I'm so sorry that I haven't had time to work on it."

"Think nothing of it, Miss Honda."

"Well, I'm gonna start on dinner. I'm making it especially with Kyo in mind. We're having fish! I'll also make some leeks for you, Yuki."

"Miss Honda, you're so thoughtful. Thank you."

"Oh no! It's my _job_ to cook dinner! You don't have to thank me!"

"No, really, Miss Honda. Thanks for all the effort you put into this house and into us."

"Well, thank you, but I really feel like _I_ should be thanking _you_!!"

"Don't be silly!"

"OH, SHUT THE HELL UP!!! I GET THE POINT!!! WE ALL GET THE POINT!!! YOU THANKED EACH OTHER ENOUGH ALREADY!!! JUST SHUT UP!!! IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!"

Yuki turned and glared at Kyo. "How dare you say such a thing. I _would_ like to fight you now. Beating you like I always do will shut you up for a while. The peace and quiet will be heaven. Or better yet, just leave."

Tohrue rushed between them. "Please don't fight!!"

Kyo growled, "Don't worry, Tohrue. I can handle fighting him. Don't try and call it off."

"Tohrue's right," Yuki said calmly. "You can't win against me. Listen to her advice. Don't fight me. Just leave."

"That's IT, rat boy. I'm gonna mess up your face for good!!!"

Kyo threw a punch at Yuki. Tohrue ran between the two. Kyo and Tohrue's bodies touched, and in a puff of orange smoke, Kyo transformed into his cat form. He sat there in a disgruntled silence.

"Miss Tohrue, are you ok?" asked Yuki.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Yuki. But what about Kyo?!"

She kneeled by Kyo and peered at him.

"I wouldn't worry about that stupid cat, Miss Honda. His head is to thick to be damaged."

Kyo started screaming obscenities at Yuki. Yuki smirked a little evilly.

"Stop it, both of you!" cried Tohrue. "Why have you two been fighting more than usual lately?! And over the littlest things!!"

They stopped and looked at her. In a streak of orange fuzziness, Kyo stormed off. Yuki kneeled and resumed working on the door.

"Would you please hand me the tape, Miss Honda?"

Tohrue sighed and gave it to him.

"Thank you."

Tohrue was already walking away, lost in her thoughts. All she wanted was for Yuki and Kyo to get along. For them to not scream and argue—that is, to talk to each other like normal people do. Was this too much to ask? Or rather, was this just impossible?

Little did she know, things were about to take a huge turn next morning. We're talking gigantic. Monolithic. Bigger and more unforeseeable than anything you could expect…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The smell of breakfast wafted through the house. Everyone was led to the table by their noses, and they all proceeded to have a nice, quiet meal.

A _very_ quiet meal. Trying to ignore each other, Kyo was looking at his food and Yuki had his eyes closed in a haughty manner.

Shigure coughed.

Both of their eyes snapped to Shigure and glared at him until he anime sweatdropped. Shigure hurriedly dropped his gaze to his plate, uncharacteristically shriveling under their fiery stares. Yes. Their fiery stares were enough to make even the usually brazen Shigure shrivel.

Tohrue sat in agonized silence, her eyes darting back and forth between Yuki and Kyo. Anguish twisted her brow. She bit her lower lip as the two boys picked at their food.

In the tense silence, clothing rustled strangely loud in the silence as Shigure stood up. He announced, "Well, Tohrue, that was a lovely breakfast. I'm going to work on my novel now, and I think I'll finish it today. Eh heh…heh heh heh…" He wandered off, desperate to get away from the table. Desperate enough to even want to work on his manuscript for Mii. Now that was desperate.

"I'm done too," said the two boys at the same time as they both stood up. They glared at each other. At the same time. It seemed synchronized.

Yuki put on a kinder face towards Tohrue. "I'll help you clean up. Unlike _some_ people, I pick up after myself."

Kyo growled in anger, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You heard me."

Kyo's mouth seemingly exploded in a barrage of fierce shouting, rapidly and simultaneously insulting and challenging Yuki, all the while laced with foul words. Yuki began arguing back, taking no heed to Tohrue's pleadings.

Kyo threw a punch, but he was too slow. In a flash, Yuki walloped Kyo's stomach, leaving Kyo on the floor. He looked down at Kyo with a smug look on his face.

Crying was heard. "Oh really, Kyo." Yuki laughed. "You're already a loser. Don't tell me you're crying, too."

Kyo glared up at Yuki. "I ain't crying!"

It was Tohrue.

"Miss Honda!" Yuki rushed to her. "Miss Honda, what is it?"

She choked out, "Why…?

"Why what, Miss Honda?"

"Why do…you two…fight so much?" She cried between tears. "You could be friends! Why…?"

Kyo sat up and looked at the ground in silence. Yuki looked like he wanted to say something. He didn't, though, and gathered up a stack of their dirty plates.

"Miss Honda, let's just…forget about this and clean up."

Wordlessly, she took the plates from him, still crying. She just stood there, holding the stack of plates with tears streaming from her eyes.

"Miss Honda, please don't cry…"

Kyo stood up. "Yeah Tohrue. Don't let our fighting get to you."

"Why do you two hate each other so much?" Tohrue sniffled.

"I…just wanna beat Yuki. I hate the rat," Kyo said with conviction. "I wanna beat him and show the world that the cat won't be tricked anymore!" he hollered.

Silence.

"What about you, Yuki?" she said quietly.

Silence.

"Yeah, why, girly boy?" demanded Kyo.

Yuki's eyes were hidden behind his hair. He was looking at the floor. "Because…I…"

Tohrue's stared wide-eyed at Yuki, waiting.

"I…"

"Just spit it out, ya' damn rat."

"I…I fight because…" Yuki was really having trouble saying whatever it was he was trying to say. He took a deep breath.

"Ok. I fight because I'm…trying to cover up my true feelings. The truth is…I…"

Kyo and Tohrue stared. Yuki suddenly lifted his head, eyes wide and blazing with emotion.

"I love you, Kyo!!"

With a deafening crash, Tohrue dropped the stack of plates. Kyo fell back against the wall, dumbstruck. His eyes were wide with disbelief.

"What..?" Kyo sputtered.

"I love you!! I've always loved you!! It's just that…I wanted to keep it secret, so I disguised my eternal love for you as anger! Oh, you can't imagine the inner torture I've been subjected to, forced to lash out at the one I love most! You, Kyo!! How I ache to be near you! What joy I feel when I am with you! And what pain I feel when I must say such mean things to you, Kyo, my beloved! Love is so sweet like a rose's petals, brimming with sultry fragrance, intoxicating the senses! And yet love is so painful when the hands—no, the heart—is pricked by the thorns on its slender stem!"

As Yuki cried this, Kyo swaggered in shock. He slid down the wall and onto the floor.

Yuki's eyes shone with a determined light. His face sparkled with intense emotion. Color flushed Yuki's usually pale cheeks, and his gaze made Kyo tremble.

Tremble in delight? In happiness?

No. Kyo trembled in horror. Why? This was his worst nightmare. This outburst from Yuki would scar him for life, he knew it.

"Kyo! Kyo, my beloved, my precious darling! Kyo my love! How the deepest reaches of my soul feel relief from confessing my love for you! I feel so light, I could prance on the clouds! Kyo, I love you! Love you, love you, love you, love you, LOVE YOU!!! My heart lifts with rapturous joy when I say…I LOVE YOU, MY SWEET KYO!!!!!!"

Kyo just couldn't comprehend this information. His brain exploded and he fainted.

"Oh, Kyo!" cried Tohrue.

"My love, are you hurt!?!" Yuki dashed to fill the remaining distance between he and Kyo. He picked up and carefully cradled the unconscious Kyo in his arms. He carried him to Kyo's bedroom. Tohrue followed, in a bit of a daze.

Kyo began to regain consciousness. He felt a hand on his face. It was probably Tohrue stroking his cheek, no worries, right? …Right?

Kyo sat up, jolted awake with the memory that was still fresh in his head. The worried faces of Yuki and Tohrue greeted him.

"Oh, Kyo lay back down! Don't strain yourself!" cried Tohrue.

Kyo didn't even register what she was saying. He stared at Yuki in fear and disgust.

"What?" Yuki asked.

"So…it was a dream? …What you told me just now?"

"What did I tell you?"

Kyo laid back down. Relief flooded his mind. "It _was_ just a dream."

Yuki suddenly clapped his hands together, a huge grin gracing his face. "Oh, yeah! _Now _I remember what I told you! I love you, Kyo. That, my darling, shall never change, not for all of eternity!!"

Kyo stood up and screamed.

"Even if our love is forced to endure the greatest trials, even if the entire universe is against us, I will always love you, Kyo!

"Tohrue, are you hearing this?! He's gone and lost it!!" Kyo shouted. "This is so messed up!! What is wrong with him!! Did he hit his head or somethin'!?!?"

Tohrue's face was stuck between expressions, as if she didn't know what to think.

Kyo looked her in the eyes. "Tohrue, what do you have to say about this!!!???" he demanded.

She thought for a moment, and her face abruptly lit up with happiness. "This is great!! This is just what I wanted!! For you two to stop hating each other!" A tear slid down her cheek. She smiled fondly at Yuki and Kyo. Shock hit Kyo once more, and he fell to his knees on the bed. He stared at the wall.

Yuki's lips curved into a smile. "Yes, lay back down, my love. Get your rest. I'll spread the good news and get the preparations ready."

Kyo began shaking again. "W-what preparations…?"

"Oh, silly. Our wedding, my little Muffin-toes! What else would I be preparing for?"

Kyo almost vomited in revulsion.

"Ahh, hell…What is WRONG with you people!!! A WEDDING?!? I do NOT love that girly boy, that sissy little RAT boy!!! I hate his GUTS!! I don't know what the hell is wrong with all of you, but there is no way in HELL that I'm marryin' HIM!!! He's a BOY!!! He's the RAT!!! I HATE HIM!!!"

Tohrue's eyes grew watery with tears at Kyo's outburst.

Yuki just smiled. "Don't take him seriously, Miss Honda. The joy has yet to set in. He'll realize the happiness of our relationship in no time."

"NO, I WON'T!! SHUT UP, YOU INSANE, DAMN RAT!!"

"Somebody's grumpy this morning…" Yuki teased playfully. He stood up and left the room, saying, "Please stay and look after him, Miss Honda, while I go tell everybody. Bye-bye, my little Kyo-Kyo."

Smiling cheerfully, Yuki turned and winked at Kyo as he left.

Kyo started screaming again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

For the first time in his life, Kyo had Yuki's smiling face greet him every where he looked. And Yuki's blown kisses, his dreamy stares, his winks, his playful growls, and his suggestively wiggled eyebrows. Any girl would melt having these various facial expressions of Yuki's directed at her. But Kyo wasn't a girl. He was male through and through, and he was extremely disturbed by all of this.

This led Kyo to do the unthinkable. He decided to call Kagura and ask her to come over for dinner.

This was another first for Kyo. He usually tried to avoid Kagura. Beating people to a pulp was her way of showing affection. And she _really_ loved Kyo.

Kyo was scared of Kagura's sweet love fury, but this was his line of reasoning; Kagura loved Kyo a lot. Now, if Kagura found out that someone was mooching in on her Kyo territory, i.e., Yuki, she'd be liable to bust some heads. And if she beats up Kyo that hard when she _loves _him, how hard would she beat up on someone she _doesn't _love? Someone who was also trying to steal Kyo from her? Kyo reckoned that would be a pretty violent beatdown—_so_ violent that Yuki's head might get hit hard enough to snap him out of his insanity. That is, _if_ he survived. Kyo would be happy for either outcome, so long as Yuki's infatuation stopped. It was creepy.

That day, Kyo wished time would pass faster. Yuki wasn't leaving him alone, and Tohrue kept weeping happy tears whenever she saw the two of them together. And later, when Yuki told the news to Shigure, Shigure took it very well. It went like this:

"Oh, ho, _ho_—now that makes sense! So all this time you were having _love_ squabbles? That sounds like something in my little off-limits novel entitled, (Shigure's voice dropped low and gained a suggestive tone) _Kiss and Make Up Volume Two_. Ah ha ha…yes…good times…" Shigure fell silent, smiling to himself, lost in his sick mind. He snapped back to and exclaimed, "Well, you have my blessing! I'm sure the wedding will be beautiful!! I will invite everybody I know—count on it."

Yeah, that didn't turn out well for Kyo. He'd been hoping Shigure would have put a stop to this.

Kyo waited all day long for evening. He tried to yelling at Yuki to pass the time, but Yuki didn't leave. Whenever Kyo began yelling, Yuki just said things like, "Kyo, I swear! You and your temper! You're so cute when you're mad…" Another line was "Ooohhh, my wittle Sugar-whiskers is all angry! You seem tense. Perhaps I can…_loosen_…you up a little." So yeah, Kyo gave up yelling.

And when Kyo tried violence, that didn't work against Yuki either. Kyo once tried throwing a punch at Yuki's face, but Yuki caught his fist. Grinning mischievously, he pulled Kyo's arm and yanked Kyo into his waiting embrace. Kyo began screaming and struggling to break free, and, eventually, he wrenched himself from Yuki's arms. Kyo wouldn't be trying _that_ again.

Nothing had worked. Kagura was his last chance.

So, finally, when dinnertime approached, Kyo couldn't have had more hope. Tohrue was making her trademark beef stew. Kyo was expecting to enjoy the food and the dinnertime entertainment of Kagura pummeling Yuki.

Kyo heard a knock at the door. He leaped to answer it. At the door stood Kagura and Hatsuharu.

"KYO!!! YAY!!!! I brought Haru along. That's ok, right!"

"Kagura!!" Tears filled his eyes as he took her hands in his. Picture a shojo sprinkle moment. "I've been waiting for you all day!!!"

"Kyo…?" She blushed. "What is with this strange behavior? Hmm…I know!!"

She glared and began hollering. "KYO, YOU MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG!!! Why else would you be acting so kind and repentant, KYO MY LOOOOOVE!!!"

The pretty sparkly scene dissolved like ice under a blowtorch as Kagura proceeded to beat the living daylights out of Kyo. Yet the smile couldn't be wiped off of his face.

Hatsuharu walked in past the thrash-fest and found Yuki watching Kyo and Kagura from around the corner.

"Yuki!" He punched Yuki's shoulder in a friendly way. Yuki paid him no mind.

"Yuki, come on," prodded Haru. "Say 'hi' to me….Hey, what's wrong?"

"She's hurting him…" said Yuki.

"Yeah…She always does that. Why do you care _now_?"

"I'll tell you during supper." Yuki continued watching and Haru walked away.

Back to our lovely couple. "Ka…Kagura…" Kyo mumbled from the ground.

"Kyo, I'm willing to overlook whatever it was that you did if you promise to sit next to me at dinner. Please, please, oh pretty please!!??!!"

"Sure."

"YAY!" She squeezed him happily and he groaned in pain, still sore from her rapid blows.

Yuki face was pained. He raced to the kitchen and asked Tohrue if he could set the table.

She looked happy for the help. "Sure! Help would be great! Take those plates in the cupboard…no, not that one. The left one…and set the table." Yuki followed her various instructions, getting chopsticks and napkins, then he mysteriously disappeared to Shigure's' office.

It was dinnertime. They all gathered around the table and saw placecards with their names hastily scribbled on them.

"Hey! That's the stationary paper from my office!! Who used it for placecards?!" Shigure accused. "I use that for important stuff!!"

"Yeah," said Yuki. "Like wadding it up and throwing it at Mii, the poor woman."

Kyo heard none of this. His heart was too busy sinking when he saw he was supposed to sit between Yuki and Haru. He didn't want to be anywhere near Yuki.

A vein pulsed in Kyo's temple. "No way. Yuki, you're gonna have to move! I promised Kagura I'd sit by her! So give her your seat!!!"

Yuki sat down anyway. "I…like the breeze here. This spot in the room is perfect for me."

"GIVE HER THE DAMN SEAT, RAT BOY!!!"

"I want to sit _here_, Kyo."

Hatsuharu chimed in. "I know. I'll solve both problems by giving Kagura _my_ seat!"

"Dammit, Haru…"muttered Kyo under his breath.

So there they were. Kyo was between Yuki and Kagura. Kagura held Kyo's arm. Shigure, Tohrue and Haru had the other side of the table.

They proceeded to eat dinner. Kyo felt someone pinch his thigh. He didn't have to guess who, as Yuki kept smiling playfully at him. Tohrue chatted happily, making small talk with the others about the nice weather they'd been having recently.

Yuki leaned to Kyo's ear, speaking softly. "The weather _is_ so nice, my sweet Kyo-Kyo…Perhaps we should have an outside wedding…"

Kyo shuddered and scooted away from Yuki. He stuffed his face, trying to ignore the infatuated and slightly turned on presence to his left.

"I love you, my frisky kitten…" Yuki whispered into Kyo's ear. Kyo started choking on his food.

"KYO!"

"Kyo! Oh no!"

Haru ran around the table and successfully heimliched Kyo. Kyo stopped coughing and spat the offending chunk of meat into a napkin. There was silence, as every one stared at Kyo.

Tohrue apologized frantically, "I cut the meat into bite-sized pieces!!! I should have cut it into bite-_bite_-sized pieces!!! Oh, I'm so sorry!! Everyone, I'll take your bowls if you want and cut your meat better!!! Just say the word, and I'll do it!!!"

Shigure chuckled, "Calm down, Tohrue. Your stew is perfect. Kyo just seems distracted."

Yuki smiled devilishly. Shigure saw the smile and his dirty mind surmised what kind of distractions Yuki was subjecting Kyo to.

Shigure said, "So, any new news with you Haru? Or you Kagura?"

"Well,…" Haru started.

Kagura chirped, "Yeah! you'll never guess what happened to me!"

Shigure waved his hand, interrupting her. "Yeah, that's nice, Kagura. But you'll never guess what happened around _here_ yesterday! Yuki?"

Yuki was scooting closer to Kyo. "Hm?" He looked like his mind was on other matters. It was, of course.

"Any news to tell Haru and Kagura, Yuki?" Shigure asked innocently.

Kyo braced himself. Things were gonna get violent quickly.

Yuki blushed adorably. He fiddled with his hands, smiling fondly. "I…I'm not hiding my true feelings for Kyo anymore," he stated. "I love him, and we're having a wedding soon."

Haru openly stared.

Kagura looked scandalized. "WHAT!?!?! I KNEW YOU WERE HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME, KYO!!!" She stood up, fuming, her eyes blazing with jealously and rage. "MARRIED TO YUKI !?!?!"

Kyo waited anxiously. Just a few moments until her fury fell upon Yuki's head. Hope filled his heart. Too bad. He should have known something was bound to go wrong.

"FINE THEN!!!! CHOOSE HIM OVER ME, EH!?!?! FORGETTING ALL THE YEARS I'VE BEEN DEVOTED TO YOU, HUH, KYO??!!? SO BE IT!!! I'M GONNA DROP YOU LIKE YOU DROPPED ME—QUICKER THAN A SACK OF BRICKS!!!!!"

Kyo's hope drained quickly as everyone watched Kagura's next move. On impulse, she strode over to Hatsuharu and captured his lips in a kiss. He didn't seem to mind.

Kyo, however, minded terribly. He thought, '_She was supposed to defend me and beat up Yuki, not go for Haru! Dammit! Why did Haru even come to dinner anyway?!_'

Kagura looked pleased with herself when she finally pulled away from Haru. "Shigure, MOVE!!! _I'm_ sitting next to Haru, my new _boyfriend_." She pushed Shigure over and stole his spot, clutching Haru's arm to her. "Right, Haru?" She blinked her wide eyes innocently at Haru. Haru nodded.

Kyo held his head in his hands in defeat. All was ruined…

Haru said, "Well, a lot sure happened in _that_ last thirty seconds. So when's the wedding?"

"As soon as possible," Yuki answered while stroking Kyo's hair. "Two days, I think. There are still many preparations."

"Can Haru and I be in the wedding?" Kagura implored sweetly.

"Of course."

Kyo weeped silently.

"Aww, look," said Shigure. "He's so happy, tears of joy spring from his eyes."

Everyone but Kyo went, "Awwwww…."

Kagura stood up and said, "Well, this was a wonderful dinner, Tohrue. Need any help cleaning up? Haru and I wouldn't mind."

"Thanks! And no, I don't need any help! Cleaning stuff around here is my job!"

"Well, we'll be going, then. Call us when it's time to prepare for the wedding! Bye everybody!" Kagura called cheerfully. She and Haru walked hand in hand out the door.

While watching Kagura leave, Kyo's final hopes went out the door along with her. It was all over in his mind. He ran to his room and locked the door.

"Pre-wedding jitters," Shigure explained.

Yuki smiled dreamily. "How adorable."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Kyo woke up from fitful sleep to a knock at the door. "Kyo? Kyo-sie-poo, are you awake, my love?"

Great. It was Yuki.

"Should the bridesmaids wear lavender or baby blue?"

"THERE AIN'T GONNA BE NO WEDDING, YA' DAMN RAT!!!" Kyo yelled irritably. Having Yuki greet him first thing in the morning always proved to be a bad start to the day.

"Should we serve fish or chicken?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

"Should the cake be a white cake or a chocolate cake? Or what if we stray towards the unconventional and get something like a giant cheesecake or a tower of cupcakes? I've heard that unconventional is the latest trend…"

"GO AWAY!!!!"

Yuki smiled on the other side of the door. His thoughts were, 'So grumpy in the morning. My sweet Kyo never fails to bring a smile to my face.'

The morning passed. Kyo refused to leave his room. Tohrue tried persuading him to come to breakfast, and to lunch, but he didn't budge. Little did they all know, Kyo had already stockpiled roughly a week of food and water in his closet. It was for when Kagura visited, when she'd love him in that violent way she did. Kyo would be prepared to hide in his room until she left.

Munching angrily on some potato chips, he desperately reviewed his few paths out of this situation.

He could run away. He could return to his karate master and live with him. No, Yuki would look there first. He could just run away to _wherever_ then, maybe start a life in a new town, in a new country, on a new continent… But Kyo had no money to buy a plane ticket. And he couldn't hide somewhere on the same continent with Yuki—Yuki could call an army of countless rats to search every square mile of it and report back to him.

He could tell Akito…Surely the head of Sohma house would forbid their matrimony. But you could never tell with Akito. He might agree with the…Kyo shuddered and gulped…_marriage_… just for the pleasure of making Kyo's life miserable…Kyo and Akito loathed each other after all.

He could manage to beat Yuki. Yeah! Kyo thought of a scenario like this:

'RAT BOY! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT!!! IF YOU WIN, I'LL DO WHAT YOU SAY!!! BUT IF I WIN, YOU PROMISE TO LEAVE AND NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME EVER AGAIN!!!'

'You're on, Kyo-Kyo. I will fight harder than ever before, for now it is for love! My love for you is deeper than the oceans and more immovable than the mountains! I will win!'

Yeah, that might not work. If Yuki fought harder, and with passion, Kyo knew he'd have a 0.001% chance of winning. He wasn't stupid.

He could kill Yuki!!! Now the question was, how?…No, wait. Murder was not something Kyo wanted any part of. Kyo did have a conscience. And anyway, Tohrue would be sad. Kyo didn't want to see Tohrue's bright smile die because of him. He never told anyone this, and he often tried to deny it himself, but he felt that Tohrue should always be happy and smiling.

He could kill himself!!! Unfortunate, yes, but that was the only option left. Anything to get out of Yuki's sickening love.

But Kyo didn't want to die. That would suck!

Were there any other options? Refuse the wedding? Fake his own death? Find a girlfriend really quickly?

Kyo sat up and swallowed his mouthful of chips, coughing slightly. He just thought of the ideal solution. He could ask Yuki's fanclub for help! Upon hearing the news, they'd steal Yuki away. They'd take him to their lair, lock him up, and keep him all to themselves.

Perfect. Yuki gone. (And miserable, wasting away in the fanclub's prison. An added plus.) Problem solved. Kyo just had to act quickly for this to work. The wedding was tomorrow.

Smiling, he unlocked the door and sped outside, heading for the shed. He threw open its flimsy wooden doors and peered hopefully into the darkness inside. There was a chance it was still there…Was it?…Yes! Kyo imagined triumphant music playing as he saw Shigure's very old bike. He hurriedly checked the tires. Flat. Kyo didn't see an air pump, so flat would have to do.

He wheeled the dusty bike out and hopped aboard.

"Kyo! It's good to see you out of your room!"

Kyo shivered in fear. Yuki was on the porch.

"Hey! Good idea! A bike ride would be fun. I'll sit on the handle bars."

Kyo biked for his life, leaving Yuki speaking to a cloud of dust. It was very hard biking with flat tires—it took twice the effort! And the ride was extremely bumpy.

Kyo didn't care. Though his thighs burned, he just had to find those fangirls somehow. Their fangirly wrath would probably get Kyo beaten up, but surely, _surely_ they'd capture Yuki and isolate him from the world for the rest of his life. Kyo could only hope.

Kyo remembered that Tohrue's creepy friend met with the fanclub once. He laboriously biked to her house. He was grateful that he remembered where it was. Once or twice, he had gone there to pick Tohrue up and take her home.

It took a while, seeing as how he had to dodge an absentminded kid with his nose in manga, an angry dog, an old man with a walker, and a strange cosplayer dressed as a spiky haired kid with boxing gloves. But he arrived at her gate, his chest heaving and beads of sweat on his face.

He rang the bell. He looked through the bars of the gate and saw a window's blinds crack open, then close. A minute later a skinny little boy with black hair and dark clothes shuffled outside and stood on the porch.

"May I help you?"

"Yeah, kid…Is Saki Hanajima here? I wanna talk to her…You're her little brother, right? Ummm. Miharu?"

The boy narrowed his dark eyes. "It's Megumi."

"Yeah, Megumi.…Listen, about that one time I came over to pick up Tohrue. I'm really sorry I knocked over your presentation for school. What was it…? The Eiffel Tower built out of popsicle sticks?"

"No," the boy stated coldly. "It was a complicated popsicle stick replica of the_ Templo Expiatorio de la Sagrada Familia_, a massive and slightly modernistic neo-gothic church built in Barcelona, Spain, by Antoni Gaudi in the 1800s." He said all this information in one breath. Impressive. "I would've gotten an A plus if it hadn't been for your clumsiness."

"Sorry. What you end up doing instead?"

The boy spoke quietly. "A baking soda and vinegar volcano. I got a C."

"Oh." Kyo was lost for words. He really did feel bad for wrecking the kid's project.

"That's in the past now," the boy said emotionlessly. "Anyway, you're here to see my sister?"

"Yeah."

" Please wait a moment. May I please have your name? I…need to tell her who has come calling."

"Ok…Kyo Sohma."

"Excellent…She'll be out in a few minutes."

The boy turned and went inside. Kyo waited impatiently, wishing he could stand in some shade.

In a dramatic whirl of dark clothing, Saki Hanajima came outside. She approached the gate and opened it for Kyo. "I thought I sensed your unique electric signals, Kyo. Would you like to come inside? I have snacks."

"No thanks. I ain't got the time. I wanted to ask you about Yuki's fan club."

"Perhaps wishing to join?" Saki said with a tiny smile.

"Hell no!!! I just want to know where they meet or somethin'."

"I am unsure of their headquarters' location. However, I was once given an invitation to their leader's house."

Kyo's eyes lit up. "That's perfect! Tell me where it is!!!"

"I cannot just give you another person's address for no reason. That is a violation of confidentiality."

"Come on, I need to talk to the club! Please! It's really important!!!" Kyo uncharacteristically fell to his knees on the sidewalk and clutched the hems of her cloak. "It's a matter of life or death…PLEASE! You gotta tell me!!! Please!!"

"I sense your sincerity, Kyo. It really must be important. I will tell you, if you answer a question of mine. Does this in any way involve Tohrue?"

"No."

"Very well then. Please wait here a moment."

She closed the gate and went inside her house. A minute later she emerged with a piece of paper.

"Here is where she lives. Kyo, I sense you are struggling greatly with something. I wish you luck in your endeavors, and may you have pleasant electric signals in the future."

"Thanks for the address, Hanajima. I swear, if I get out of this alive, I'll pay you back."

With a sliver of hope in his heart, Kyo took the address and sped off at high speed, or at least as fast as he could on a bike with two flat tires…

Meanwhile, the little boy sat in his room. He was meditating, and was in deep concentration. He chanted Kyo's name quietly under his breath, over and over. A gust of wind blew furiously through the room for a moment. The door of his room flew open, and the gust scattered papers everywhere. The wind blew the boy's dark hair in an impressively sinister way. Grinning evilly, the boy's eyes opened slowly as the wind died.

"There," he said softly. "Kyo Sohma will be cursed with horrible luck for the next few days. That's what he deserves for breaking my _Templo Expiatorio_."

He heard a voice at the doorway. "Megumi, are you cursing someone?" his sister asked.

"Yes, sister."

"Well, please try and lessen the wind next time. It knocked my plate of snacks right out of my hand. Now jelly buns lay wasted on the floor."

"I am sorry, sister. I shall try to reduce the winds in the future."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Kyo headed for the address. He was biking diligently when a breeze blew a newspaper in his face. Eyes blinded by the horoscope section, Kyo veered wildly and crashed into a streetlamp. Kyo flew from the bike and hit the ground.

He sat up and peeled the sheet of newspaper from his face. Little cupid chibi Shigures danced around his head, strumming harps and tweeting little pan flutes. As he stood up and swatted the cupids away, Kyo began to question his sanity (cupid Shigures?). The last few days had been stressful after all. An infatuated Yuki was the most annoying and disturbing thing in the world.

Kyo sighed at looked at the newspaper. Normally, he would have gotten mad at it. But he was mentally and physically exhausted at the moment.

Kyo's eyes traveled to the bike.

Oh dear.

It was wrecked beyond repair. The front wheel was bent very badly, and so were the handlebars.

"Crap…What bad luck." Kyo looked at the paper with the address on it again and started walking. He didn't bother taking the bike. It was messed up beyond repair anyway.

As he walked away, a little girl strolled past with her dog. The dog went to the bike and marked his territory on it. The little girl picked up the newspaper and looked at her horoscope.

"Year of the Rat…Here I am! 'The Star of Rewards bathes you in its glow. Things look very bright for you. Today, every decision you make, big or small, is assuredly correct. Your determination will pay off and you'll get what you've been aiming for. Tomorrow will be a great day for you. Expect happy greetings with relatives, gifts for kitchen use (like toasters, plates, blenders, cutlery, etc.), love, and unparalleled luck.' …Yay! I can finally buy that boxed set of anime I've been saving up for!" She was a happy camper.

Her eyes scrolled down the horoscope list. " 'Year of the Cat…The Star of Misfortune shines brightly above your head, and today is not your day. Due to a past mistake and a bizarre twist of fate, you will have horrible luck today. It would be best for you if you just stayed home. Do not attempt to travel or negotiate anything. You will fail at everything you try. Tomorrow is not looking good for the Year of the Cat either. Expect conflict, people to not listen to anything you say, and general misery from which you cannot escape no matter how hard you try.' …Gee, that sounds bad. Good thing I'm not a Cat!"

She discarded the paper in a nearby trash can, glad that her horoscope was so great for today and tomorrow. Tugging her dog's leash, the little girl skipped away, humming a happy tune.

Kyo was groaning. His feet hurt as they pounded the pavement over and over. The sun was so hot on his back… No, he couldn't stop.

Kyo walked under a tree. A bird dropping bombed his shoulder, and a small tree branch fell and bonked off his head. Blinking stars out of his eyes, Kyo plodded onward.

His shoes became untied, and he tripped over the laces. Kyo's chin painfully met the pavement. The impact was cushioned slightly by a pile of steaming dog poo.

"Awww, _dammit_!!" His voice was slightly muffled. His face was in … well, you know.

An old woman peeked over her fence. "You foulmouthed little punk!! Can't an old woman garden in peace anymore?!"

The old woman hopped sprightly over the fence and proceeded to beat whatever part of Kyo she could reach with a trowel. At least it wasn't a hand rake…

Kyo stood up and began to run, but he tripped over his laces again. It didn't help that his eyes were obscured with a foul brown smelling substance…He felt her blows hit his back even as he lay on the ground for the third time that day.

An army of ferrets outta nowhere suddenly surrounded Kyo and the old lady. Kyo wiped poo off of his face and yelled, "Scram!!" to the ferrets.

Bad move.

As one great, randomly angry mass, they pounced on him, clawing him all over and biting them with their little teeth. The old lady hit Kyo one last time for good measure, then ran off. Kyo threw off his shoes so he wouldn't trip over the laces anymore, and he ran.

He sprinted wildly away from the stampeding ferrets and ran full speed into Arisa Uotani. Kyo hit the ground again.

"HEY!! Watch where you're goin'—Kyo? KYO!! You got dog crap on me!!!"

She punched him, sending him flying. He almost landed on a passing moped, but with his bad luck, he landed just slightly to the right—in a trash can. The ferrets descended like a furry mass of death, claws flying.

Kyo broke free of the herd of ferrets and ran into someone's yard. They had a shed, and he had the idea of hiding inside. Closely pursued by Uo and the ferrets, he busted inside and barred the door.

He finally caught his breath. His skin stung all over with scratches and bites, and he felt painful bruises where the old lady had attacked him. His rear end throbbed from its repeated meetings with the ground. Feeling resentful at the world, he put his ear to the door and waited for Uotani and the ferrets to give up and leave.

That is, until he heard the angry buzzing sound. A hive of hornets had made their nest in the corner of the shed, and they didn't take too kindly to an intruder in their midst.

Kyo ran screaming from the shed. Ferrets, hornets, and Uo chased him like a stampede. Uo had even found a flaming torch and a pitchfork from somewhere, and she brandished them ferociously.

Ahead, Kyo saw some train tracks, and the guards were already lowering. A train was about to pass. Kyo sped up and vaulted over the guards, barely missing the speeding train. His vengeful and random stampede had to stop.

Now a train separated him and his pursuers. Kyo almost laughed but he was breathing too heavily. It looked like quite a long train, so he walked away, glancing at the paper he still had clutched in his hand all this time.

Wow! Look at that! He was on the street in the address already. (I, the author, feel badly for torturing Kyo like that. That pursuit had to end sometime, it was torture! …Well, this entire story is torture for Kyo, but I feel guiltier when it's physical violence.)

He looked at the numbers on the houses and saw the one. It was a vegetable shop. Closed.

He knocked anyway.

A window opened above him. A stout middle-aged woman in curlers screeched, "Closed! Come back tomorrow!"

"But…I need to talk to someone that lives here, lady!"

"What the heck do you wanna talk to _me_ about?!"

"Not you. A girl? Around my age?"

"My daughter? Good. She needs to talk to people instead of writing those worthless poems of hers… I'll let you in."

Kyo looked around once she let him inside the shop. Bins full of leeks and other lovely veggies filled the store. Kyo gagged at the leeks, and at the smell of slightly rotting vegetables.

He held his breath and followed the woman behind the counter through a door, which he tripped through.

The woman took off her slippers. "Why are you all scratched up? And where are your shoes, young man?"

Kyo looked at his filthy socks. "I lost them on the way here."

"Take off those nasty socks. Leave them by the door."

He did so while the lady yelled deafeningly loud, "MOTOKO!!!! THERE'S A BOY HERE TO SEE YOU!!!!" The lady gave a nod to Kyo, saying, "She's holding a meeting in her bedroom with her other little friends. The Princess Pookie fan club or whatnot." The woman rolled her eyes and left the room.

A skinny, tall girl with long ginger hair leapt down the stairs. "Prince Yuki?"

Kyo made a disgusted face.

More girls bounded down the stairs. One chirped, "He's a Sohma, just like the Prince."

"Yeah, sometimes he and the Prince hang together with that horrible girl…" one whispered.

"What was his name…? Kuro-something…?"

No, Kyo. People also call him Kyo-Kyo."

They murmured behind their hands about him, shooting him looks full of suspicion.

Motoko looked commandingly down at Kyo. "Well, Kyo Sohma, I suppose you can come upstairs. We were in the middle of a meeting." She abruptly turned and walked up the stairs, and her minions followed. Kyo shuffled after them.

He followed them through a cramped hallway to a bedroom. The walls were a pale pink and were plastered with pictures of Yuki here and there. Banners saying, "We Shall Prevail" and "Hail to the Prince" were draped around the room, displaying their almost incantation-like sayings. There was even a framed picture of Yuki on the nightstand. All the pictures of Yuki made Kyo shiver. He could just picture the faces mouthing "I love you," and winking.

A paper with the title "The Prince Yuki Commandments" was taped to a wall. Kyo eyes traveled down the paper, and he was astonished at the depth of the fangirls' obsession.

1. Do not touch or steal the Prince's belongings.

2. Do not enter the Prince's house.

3. Do not speak to the Prince unless accompanied by two or more club members.

4. When speaking to the Prince, address him as follows:

Juniors and Seniors – "Yuki"

Sophmores – "Prince Yuki"

Freshmen– "Prince Yuki Sohma"

5. Do not physically hurt the Prince in any way. We are his

protectors and devotees.

6. Do not verbally hurt, speak against, or insult the Prince in any way.

We are his protectors and devotees.

7. Be ever wary. Every girl who is not in the club is a potential enemy.

Report any violations of these rules at the next club meeting. All girls,

regardless of whether or not she is a club member, will be subject to punishment

if she violates any or all of these rules.

'_Wow_,' thought Kyo. '_That's crazy. That's just flippin' crazy_.' He snapped out of his musings and saw that every girl was sitting on the floor and staring at him. Kyo sat down too, and he tried to wipe the blood, sweat and poo from his face a little better.

Motoko was sitting on the bed. "Well, Kyo Sohma. What did you come here for?" She wasn't speaking very kindly to him. Kyo supposed it was because they put on happy faces only for Yuki. So here they were, unmasked. Creepy. He looked at the girls, and said, "I have somethin' important to tell you."

"The Prince died!?"

"The Prince moved away?!"

"The Prince eloped!?"

"The Prince got married?"

"Stupid!"

"OW!"

"Married and eloped are practically the same thing."

"SILENCE!!!" Motoko cried.

From the front of the group of girls, she surveyed him coldly and said, "Tell us what happened to our Prince Yuki."

Kyo sweatdropped. Big time. The girls looked hyper, restless, and none too happy with him. Their anger reminded him of the ferrets, and of the danger of an angry mob comprised of any species—human or ferret.

He took a deep shuddering breath and said, "Yuki's insane." Kyo spoke a little more strongly. "He told me that he luh…" Kyo's voice failed. Saying this was extremely hard, because saying it meant that he acknowledged it, and he just wanted it not to exist. "He…*gulp*…_loves_…me, and they're gonna force me to be in the wedding. Tomorrow."

They glared, silent. Kyo felt nervous under their intense gazes.

His voice was weaker now. "And…I was hoping you could do something about it. Like…"

They were silent.

"Like…stop him or…somethin'…" he ended lamely.

They were too silent.

Motoko stood up, and seemed to grow twice as tall. Her anger was almost visible. "The Prince is getting married…?!"

Kyo nodded, saying in a small voice, "Yeah, isn't that crazy? Could you prevent the marriage and stop him? "

Motoko seemed to hear none of this. "The Prince is getting married!?!"

"Yeah…That's what I said…Are you gonna do something about it or not?"

"Oh, we'll do something about it," Motoko growled. "There will be no marriage, for YOU shall be obliterated!!! Girls, ATTACK!!!!!"

It was a scene of horror and carnage. The girls leapt from the floor and tackled Kyo. He screamed for help, but their piercing war cry shrieks drowned out all other noise. This, as we all know, is the dreaded wrath of the fangirls. This is incited whenever someone does something against their deeply held object or being of fandom. They move as one demented creature, fully intending to violently destroy the enemy of their obsession. _We_ know to never evoke the terrible wrath of the fangirls. However, Kyo didn't.

Kyo knew this was the end. He only wished he could say goodbye to his karate master, Kazuma, and to Tohrue.

In the confusion, Kyo transformed into a cat while choking in a fangirl's sleeper hold. Instinctually, he shot out of the fray. He had a chance! He managed to paw open the doorknob. In the hall, he frantically looked for a way outside. His sharp nose caught scent of fresh air, and he ran to another bedroom.

Apparently, it was the bedroom of Motoko's mother. This could be ascertained because she screamed at the sight of Kyo and started chucking things at him.

Kyo was annoyed (he wanted to scratch her face silly) but he kept his eye on the prize; a slightly open window in the room. He leapt to it, unsuccessfully dodging curlers the woman was ripping out of her hair and throwing at him.

He squeezed his head and front legs through the small crack. The rest of him didn't come out, however.

What luck. His butt was stuck.

Motoko's mother seized a cheesy romantic novel (one that looked suspiciously like one of Shigure's _Kiss and Make Up_ series…) and proceeded to smack Kyo's kitty cat rear repeatedly and without remorse.

Though it was painful (it felt as if Motoko's mother had gotten the hardback edition), the force of the impacts was enough to dislodge Kyo's butt. He fell towards the ground below, righting himself just in time and landing on his feet.

He landed in a trashcan of rotting vegetables, though. Leeks, as it were, along with some squishy radishes and slimy lettuce. At least he landed in there feet first.

Objects thrown by Motoko's mother continued to rain on him. She had good aim, even through a window aiming for a small target.

He frantically scrambled out of the trashcan, landing roughly on the ground. His senses whirled because of the intense reek of the veggies on his kitty nose. Disoriented, he stumbled away, running into things like curbs and fences. It was a pathetic sight.

For a while, Kyo just ran and didn't pay attention where. The sun was starting to set. The sun was setting on his hopes for escaping Yuki's love too. The thoughts in his head that weren't still reeling from the rotten veggie smell could only focus on one thing; he had failed.

Failure, failure, failure. Yes. Failure, failure, failure, failure, failure. The wedding was tomorrow. And he had failed. All of his last chances had failed. Failed, failed, failed. …Failed.

His senses finally cleared and he looked around at where he was. It was a neighborhood with empty streets. Everyone was inside, eating dinner. He sat in the middle of the street, miserable.

He would run. That was all he could do now. Try to run away and leave the continent.

Gloomy thoughts filled his head, and he didn't notice the vengeful army of ferrets surrounding him. They were ticked that their prey from earlier had escaped, and now they felt like beating up on something to vent their rage. And they had happened upon a little orange cat.

Kyo looked up and cursed. Hundreds of ferrets, all with beady little eyes, were staring him down. They glared and moved in, closer and closer.

With a boom and a puff of orange smoke, Kyo transformed back into human form. The ferrets scattered in shock, deciding to look for elsewhere for easier, non-smoking-or-booming prey.

Kyo was now naked. He never thought to bring his clothes with him when he fled Motoko's house. He spotted some laundry drying on a clothesline.

He raced to the clothes. Mostly it was just women's undergarments hanging on the line, but there was a little girl's dress. It would have to do. He squeezed into the tiny dress. Kyo looked utterly comical—dirty, smelly, scratched up, and bruised, with no shoes, and wearing clothes that were much too small.

Kyo decided to go to Shigure's house one last time to grab his things and say goodbye to Tohrue. He headed there in the waning light, scratching at the lace borders of his pink plaid party dress. There was a cartoon pony smiling on the front of it, and the seams stretched painfully into Kyo's body. Had he been an inch larger around the waist, this garment would have refused to fit him. And Kyo was skinny enough as it was. Kyo wondered if walking around naked would have been better than wearing this frilly nightmare of a straitjacket.

It was fully dark by the time Kyo reached the woods that surrounded Shigure's house. He stumbled blindly and rather pathetically thorough the darkness.

Twigs and rocks poked his feet. A couple of times, he tripped. Branches kept catching on his frilly dress, and it became torn along a few hems. At least most of the cuts he had received from the ferrets earlier had scabbed up and weren't bleeding anymore. The bruises still throbbed, however.

After a few minutes more of this sad, sad journey, he saw the lights of the house up ahead.

Too bad he tripped again. This time, his foot became caught a gnarled tree root. He had tried to stop his fall, and he twisted around to catch himself. His foot hadn't moved, however, and his frantic movements only caused him to fall harder and in a painful position. Pain seared through his ankle, and he let out a sharp yell.

"Who's there?!" a girl's voice called.

It was Tohrue, on her way home from a late night at work.

"Kyo? Kyo, is that you? Kyo!! What happened?!"

Kyo grunted, "I hurt my ankle. Damn tree root."

"I'll go get help!!! Don't move!!"

But oh, how badly Kyo wanted to move. He wanted to escape. Coming back here was a bed idea. Now, he was injured. _And_ Yuki was nearby.

From the ground, Kyo heard running footsteps.

"Kyo! Oh, Kyo-Kyo, my love, are you hurt badly? You're scratched up all over! And your foot!" Yuki ran to Kyo and kneeled down next to him.

"Here, hold still…" Yuki wiggled and tugged Kyo's foot free. Kyo gasped in pain.

"Kyo!! Oh my love, I am so sorry, but I had to pry your foot loose! Please forgive me, my darling!"

"Just shut up, dammit." Kyo grunted.

Much to Kyo's disgust, Yuki hitched Kyo's arm over his shoulder and hauled him to the house. Kyo ignored Yuki's concerned questions, and flat out growled when Yuki asked about the dress Kyo was wearing.

Tohrue was waiting with the first aid kit, and Shigure walked in to the entry hall with them all.

"Kyo, what in heaven's name are you wearing? And what is that horrible smell? Kyo, you smell like a dumpster that's been sitting in the sun all day. Anyway, I just called Hatori and he should be over in thirty minutes."

Yuki cried, "Thirty minutes!? But Kyo-Kyo's in pain _now_!"

Shigure said, "You know very well that nothing can be done about that. It's a wonder that Hatori was able to come at all, what with him being so busy…"

"Busy?" Tohrue implored.

"Why, yes. Ha'ri, like the rest of us, is doing his part in preparing for the wedding tomorrow. All of us have been quite busy."

None of what Kyo was hearing was putting him in a good mood. His day today had been one of the worst in his life.

"Why's that damn Hatori gotta show up?" Kyo yelled in protest. He grunted, because taking such a deep breath to yell just then had made the seams of the tiny dress cut further into his body. A couple of threads snapped.

"To fix your foot, Cutie-claws. Why else?" said Yuki kindly. "I know it hurts, but you need to lie down more comfortably, my love. Here, let's take you to your room."

"Don't touch me, dammit! I can do it."

Kyo half hobbled and half hopped off, leaning on the wall and sometimes gasping.

Yuki, Tohrue and Shigure watched him leave the entrance hall. Yuki smiled and said, "Look at the spirit and determination sweet Kyo-Kyo has."

Shigure and Tohrue nodded in agreement.

Shigure said, "Just look at him go! It seems like he's especially eager to be healed before the wedding tomorrow."

Yuki sighed happily and followed Kyo. Tohrue went make Kyo some food. Shigure went to his office and shredded newspapers for some unknown reason.

Kyo managed to climb the stairs and get to his room with no help from Yuki. Kyo thought that Yuki following him, like a devoted and amorous shadow, was incredibly annoying. Now, Yuki was standing at Kyo's side, eyes wide with concern.

Kyo-Kyo, here, let me help you lie down…"

Kyo scowled, "Get out of my room, Rat boy," and fell onto the floor on his futon. He heard a rip behind him. Apparently, the back of his dress just couldn't take the strain anymore. Yuki started laughing.

"Kyo-sie-poo!!! I can see your wittle butt!!!"

"GET OUT!!! NOW!!!!" Kyo, finally unhindered by the tight seams of the dress, ignored the pain of his ankle and shoved Yuki out. Kyo slammed the sliding door closed so hard he cracked the wall a little.

Alone in his room now, Kyo ripped the rest of the dress off and collapsed onto the futon. His ankle was really hurting him. His face was bizarrely twisted with pain and fury as he crawled to his dresser for some clothes. Pulling his pants over his now swollen ankle was agony.

It took a few minutes for Kyo to fully dress. His ankle was sure a pain, and I mean that literally, too. Kyo heard a strange noise coming from the hallway outside. It sounded choked, like it was gasping for air. He realized it was the rare sound of Yuki howling with gut-busting laughter, laughing so hard that he could hardly breathe.

Kyo yelled various obscenities at Yuki and laid down, exhausted.

Yuki's cries of mirth could still be heard through the door. Kyo cursed and pulled his pillow over his head.

Life sucked.

A/N: Hey, I want to say thanks for the reviews. Six! Six whole reviews! I feel so loved. Thanks to each one of you. Glad you all like my first ever story!

Oh, and eventually there will be a wedding, just like Yuki's planning. The wedding is the only chapter I haven't written yet. If you have any ideas for the wedding, put them in a review, and I might put your ideas in. I've already assigned the characters their roles (Kisa is the flower girl, for example). The wedding chapter will be around chapter 9 or 10.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

After lying in his room for an hour or so, a knock was heard at the door. Kyo didn't get up to open it. He didn't even bother opening his mouth to say anything. He was too miserable to care.

Hatori, Shigure, Tohrue, and Yuki came into the room. Yuki and Tohrue instantly kneeled at the side of the bed, watching Kyo with concern.

Hatori kneeled by Kyo's feet pulled off the blanket Kyo was under. It was obviously the right ankle, because it was twice the size of the left ankle.

"Kyo, why did you put on pants? Because of the pant leg, you are making me go through more trouble, and you are only putting yourself through more pain," Hatori said emotionlessly. He tried rolling the pant leg over the swelling (much to Kyo's agony), but it couldn't be done (much to Kyo's frustration and agony). Hatori reached inside his fancy doctors' bag and pulled out some shiny looking surgical scissors (much to Kyo's agony, frustration, and apprehension). Hatori carefully cut a slit all the way up the pant leg to the knee (much to Kyo's agony, frustration, apprehension and annoyance).

"Those were my favorite pants!!"

"Be quiet or I'll give you a shot."

"Hey, don't threaten me, you bastard! Why are you even here, anyway!! I don't need nothin'!"

Yuki said, "Hatori, you will do no such thing. When you treat Shigure, however, feel free to administer as many painful shots as desired."

Shigure gasped dramatically.

"Yuki, getting married tomorrow or not, Kyo is currently my patient. I respect my patients so long as they respect me. Unless it's Shigure."

Shigure cried, "O, how unloved am I_! 'The treacherous instrument is in thy hand, unbated and envenomed…_' " He broke off, mumbling to himself in a distressed and overly-dramatized manner.

Hatori sighed. "Shigure, stop that racket and go get water for Kyo to drink. A pitcher should be enough. And as for you, Kyo, here are some painkillers. Swallow."

Hatori shoved some pills into Kyo's mouth. Kyo angrily swallowed them and glared at Hatori. "Hey! You should've told me you were gonna—"

"Be quiet and lie down. Stay down. You have a sprained ankle, and it looks like the ligaments were stretched almost to the breaking point. The ankle will require a brace for proper healing. Shigure, go get—where is he with that water? Hmph. Yuki, get some ice. Bag it up in a towel."

"Anything for my sweet Kyon-Kichi!" Yuki said with passion. He left. Kyo groaned, holding back vomit. No, not because of the pain, but because over the last few days, whatever came out of Yuki's mouth made Kyo feel nausea mingled with dread.

"Tohrue, would you be so kind as to getting Kyo more pillows and blankets?"

Yes, Hatori was indeed the medical puppetmaster, arranging the care, work, and schedule for the treatment of Kyo's ankle. It was like an orchestra, with Hatori as the conductor. With his ankle iced and elevated on pillows Tohrue had found, Kyo drank the water that Shigure had finally come back with.

Hatori produced an ankle brace from his bag. It held the calf and foot so that no movement of the ankle was allowed. As soon as Kyo saw the brace, he wasn't happy. He had wanted to escape from Yuki to someplace far, far away. Like some lost longitude of the Arctic Circle. A nice little iceberg would be fine. Seals and seagulls would be his friends.

A vein twitched in Kyo's temple. It wasn't an angry twitch, rather, it was more of a nervous twitch. Or perhaps it was fear. "How am I supposed to WALK in that thing!!??"

"You cannot. If you must move around, you will need a wheelchair. (Kyo glared quietly at his point.) I have a collapsible one in the trunk of my car. Shigure, Yuki, go outside and get it. Yuki, don't let Shigure scratch my car."

Hatori stood up and looked at Tohrue. "I just remembered something. It's back at the main house, but it will help ensure Kyo's safety. I'm going to go get it, and I'll be back in a very short time. I'll trust you to treat his minor cuts and scratches, Tohrue. As for the ankle, please place ice on the swelling for twenty minutes of every hour. Also, please keep him hydrated, and keep that ankle elevated for better circulation….And as for you, Kyo, I hope you appreciate all that we're doing for you. Staying up so late and caring for your injuries is tiring, and everyone except Shigure has already been working hard enough preparing for tomorrow. Don't be ungrateful. " Hatori said no more, and stood up to leave.

"See you in a bit, Hatori!! Thanks a lot for helping Kyo, and I'll do everything you said. I promise!" she said.

Hatori nodded and left. Awhile later, Yuki and Shigure came, loudly lugging the wheelchair up the stairs.

"Well, here you are, Kyo," said Shigure. "It's not very pretty, but it will do the job."

"Kyo's jaw dropped. It was the rustiest, ugliest contraption he had ever seen, and there were cobwebs in the spokes of the wheels. Dust covered entire thing, and mold spots and grime hugged the torn leather of the seat. It looked like a health hazard and probably was.

Yuki assured, "I'll clean it up for you, Kyo-Kyo. You'll see. A nice coat of paint and some pillows will work wonders. And don't worry about me, Kyo-Kyo. Working so late into the night is nothing at all when it is for you and your happiness." He wheeled it off to a spare empty room to work his magic on it.

Kyo wasn't worried one bit. 'Let that insane rat work himself to death,' Kyo thought to himself. 'One less thing I have to worry about.'

Shigure jumped. "Hey, I've just hatched a brilliant idea!" he called. "Yuki! There's some ribbons and fabric downstairs!! Decorate the wheelchair for the wedding!!! And I'll help too!!!"

Yuki's voice was heard. "Great idea!"

Kyo groaned. Over the next hour, he heard cheerful voices and the racket of a spray paint can coming from the room down the hall. Tohrue, who was cleaning and sanitizing his cuts, was his only company.

"Kyo, how are you feeling?"

He felt horrible—because of the ankle and the impending wedding, a.k.a., impending doom. Fear, dread, disgust, hatred, anger, pain and exhaustion were what he felt. One small part of him though, felt a positive feeling—gratitude to Tohrue for being so very kind and taking care of him.

There were many things Kyo wanted to say. He just didn't know how to say them.

'_Tohrue, You can't actually support this wedding, can you? Tohrue, what do you really think? Do you really support it? How do you feel about this whole mess? And don't you know how I feel about you? Tohrue, thank you so much for all you've done for me. For taking care of my ankle, for everything! All of those little things too. For making food, for cleaning, for telling me I have a pickled plum on my back…everything. And thanks, Tohrue, for smiling. Your whole face lights up when you smile, and it lights up the whole world like a lightbulb. No, like the Sun. I want to make you smile, I love it when you smile. I want to see you always smiling…'_

"I feel fine." He scowled at himself, frustrated for not saying more.

"You don't look fine. Are you in pain?"

"It's nothin'. It's just the ankle."

"Those pills should kick in very soon. Don't worry!"

Footsteps were heard on the stairs. Hatori. He poked his head in the doorway to look at Kyo, then proceeded to the spare room.

"…mumble mumble…mumble…" Hatori's deep tone couldn't be heard well.

But Shigure's loud voice could. "A seatbelt!!! With a lock and key as a safety feature!! Ha'ri, you think of everything!!!"

Kyo paled. No way were they gonna strap him into anything. Yuki, Shigure and Hatori walked into Kyo's room.

Shigure wrinkled his nose. "Kyo, you still reek."

Hatori nodded. "Yes, Kyo, could use a quick bath. The ice has been applied long enough, so take it off and go get yourself cleaned up before you go to bed. If you cannot make it to the bathroom, a spongebath will have to do."

Yuki nearly leaped with excitement. "Let _me_ do it!! _I'll_ give it to him!!" He grinned devilishly and winked at Kyo. "I'll use only the greatest care with my little sugar whiskers. He'll be squeaky clean in no time."

Kyo's eyes widened in horror.

"NOOO!!! PLEASE, NOOOO!!! I CAN DO IT!!! I CAN WALK TO THE BATHROOM!!!"

Kyo stood up somehow and hopped out of the room lickety-split. He hopped so quickly that he left a cloud of dust.

Shigure chuckled. "Yuki, you sly rascal…save activities like that for the honeymoon…"

Hatori stared disapprovingly at Shigure. "Shigure, really, I don't know how people in this house put up with you. I'm leaving."

"Good-ByeEeEeEeE—!!" Shigure warbled in a remarkably irritating falsetto.

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A/N I don't think this chapter is as funny as the rest. I used this chapter to firmly establish that Kyo will be wheelchair-stricken for the rest of the story, in order to prevent his escape. Padlocked in, even. Anyway, next chapter should be funnier. Ayame shows up. Insanity ensues.

Also, like I said in the last chapter, if you have any suggestions for the wedding, anything at all (an event, the food served there, the flowers in the bouquet, anything) leave it in a review and I might write it in. For example, if you think Yuki should baby-feed Kyo stewed leeks, so shall it be. If it has funny potential, it's in.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

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Nightmares…endless nightmares…haunting Kyo… In the nightmares, every second seemed to last hours…hours of horror and pain… Marrying Yuki…Forced to be in a wedding…Marrying _Yuki_, of all people. The Rat, the filthy rat… tricking the Cat out of a place of respect. All the other animals were paid respect…The Rat…the Cat's mortal and eternally hated enemy… It was the Rat's fault that the Cat was cheated out of a destiny. And now a Cat was to marry a Rat whose mind was addled enough to believe that there could actually be love there… obsessive, insane, one-sided love though it was. What a nightmare. An insane Rat…Rats were always such trouble—even back at the very beginning and even to this day… What a nightmare…

And worst of all, this nightmare was Kyo's living reality. This was just wrong. Rats and Cats can never be friends, much less be married (even if one of them was insane…*_cough cough_* _Yuki _*_cough cough_*). It's just wrong, it just isn't done. Rats and cats being together is impossible, like asking the sun to stop rising. Like asking anime fans (like you and me) to forsake their fandom. Like telling Tetsuya Nomura he makes crappy video games. Like telling Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII that he's not totally awesome in every single scary way. Things like this just go against the grain of the entire universe.

Kyo wanted to die. He didn't care how. Anything. Being stampeded by girly pink ponies would be welcomed. Death by blender usage would suffice quite well. Being brutally stabbed with endless cases of chapstick would be fine too. Being sat on by an elephant would be great. Death by being whacked by garden tools would be wonderful. Where was that old lady who had pummeled him nearly senseless yesterday when he needed her? Now was when he needed a murderous person like her.

Kyo awoke, not remembering when he had fallen asleep. It could hardly be called sleep. Sleep was restful and pleasantly refreshing. But Kyo was living and sleeping a living nightmare. The misery never stopped.

This was the day of the wedding. The cursed day.

The sky was still quiet like skies are in the early hours of morning. Kyo tried standing up, but couldn't do it. There was no way around it. With his ankle, he was crippled. Escape would be impossible. Death was the only way out.

But before Kyo could think out a way to kill himself, Yuki opened the door with a smile and a tray of breakfast.

"Morning, Meowsie-poo. Tohrue and I made waffles!! Oh, Kyo-Kyo, I'm so excited!! I've been up for hours already. I can hardly wait until later!!! Here, eat, you look pale."

He was pale. Pale with fear and disgust.

"I know! Take this tray, my love. I'll be right back."

Yuki handed Kyo the tray. Someone had made a smiley face on the waffle with whipped cream and strawberries.

A few seconds later, Yuki came back with Shigure, wheeling the wheelchair from yesterday into the room.

"Ta-daaaa!!!" Shigure announced happily.

But the wheelchair quite wasn't the same chair from yesterday. It was even more hideous than before, if that was even possible. Spray-painted white, there was a lacy lavender pillow on the newly upholstered seat. White and lavender ribbons were woven into the spokes of the wheels, and white rose blossoms were plastered to the rims and every other place possible. More ribbons fluttered off of the handles. The worst part was the back of the seat. Anyone looking at the chair from behind could see the picture; a orange cat's head and a purple rat's head in a pink heart. To make things even cheesier, "Just Married" was painted there too. It looked like some sick abomination wheeled straight out of Ayame's shop.

Kyo said wearily (for indeed he was weary), "I ain't sittin' in that. No way. I don't even wanna get married. Are you all crazy or what?"

Shigure looked at Kyo and said the following like an adult calmly explaining to a child why they should eat their vegetables. "Kyo, Yuki and I worked very hard, and not just on this wheelchair. We've all been working on the preparations for the wedding. Tohrue has been working on the food; Hatori has been inviting everybody in the family (and you know we Sohmas aren't a small family) and taking care of you; Yuki has been calling people right and left, getting flowers, securing the right location, making sure there are enough chairs for everyone, calling for a band to play; and Aya has worked nonstop on the dresses and suits; Haru and Kagura have been leading the wedding procession rehearsals (and Haru has even been practicing his singing, but for what, I won't tell you); even poor Ritsu has been practicing playing the _Wedding March_ on the organ… And most importantly, _I_ have written two poems to be read _and_ I have made confetti to throw. Yes, oh yes, it's been a tough ride, arranging an event of this size in just five days. You can't turn your back on all of our hard work, can you? We'll, in reality, I suppose you can't turn your back on anything at all, seeing as you can hardly move."

"Shigure, maybe my little Kyo-Kyo's just nervous." Yuki said understandingly. "I don't know if I've told you, Muffin-toes, but I've arranged for professional photographers to come. Also, professional cameramen are coming, too. These people will capture every moment. They're the best of the best. So once we're married, we can relive this most happy and glorious day over and over and over again, thanks to their efforts."

"Awww, are you camera shy, Kyo?" Shigure teased.

Kyo looked anguished. He had looked like that ever since Yuki walked into the room.

"Oh, come now, cameras aren't that bad."

"Shigure, leave him alone. Kyo-Kyo, my love, you need to eat. We can't have our big day with you on an empty stomach. Let's wheel you down to the table where you can eat those waffles."

Kyo tried resisting, but with an extremely exhausted mind and a sore and painful body from all he had gone through the day before, he was no match. You'd think he'd have some untapped inner strength to use in times of crisis like these, but no. Yuki and Shigure overpowered him with hardly any effort and forced him into the wheelchair. Shigure fastened the seatbelt, and Yuki padlocked it closed.

"That's for safety reasons, my love. So you don't fall out or something."

What torment. Locked in a wheelchair and at Yuki's mercy.

And, for the moment, at Shigure's mercy too. He and Yuki tried to lower Kyo carefully down the stairs, but it was a losing battle against gravity. So when Shigure sneezed, letting go of the wheelchair to cover his mouth, Yuki dropped Kyo.

Screams and horrible crashing noises resounded throughout the house. Tohrue ran into the hallway, still wearing an apron and holding a pastry bag. Pink frosting oozed out of it as she ran to the crash site.

"Kyo, are you okay?"

"Oh Kyo-sie-poo, my love, I am so sorry!! Forgive me!!"

"Ooops, bad time to sneeze. Sorry, Kyo… Kyo?"

Kyo was unconscious.

"Oh, my love!"

"Here, Yuki, let's wheel him to the living room."

"Tohrue, you're getting frosting on him!" said Shigure. There was a smear of pink frosting on Kyo's cheek.

"I'll get that…" said Yuki in a devilishly innocent manner. He licked it off. Boy, if Kyo had been conscious for that, he would have died. Just fallen over and died.

Once they got Kyo to the living room, Yuki held Kyo's hand to his cheek.

"What should we do?" Tohrue cried.

Shigure sighed. "Who'd thought we'd still need Ha'ri around?"

"Well," said a voice from the hall. "I'm not Hatori, but surely I can be of help."

Ayame walked in.

"I've brought the outfits!! Two dashing suits, one magnificent bridal gown, and one gorgeous bridesmaid's dress. Handmade by yours truly with only the greatest care!!"

"That's great," said Yuki, "but we're too busy to see them right now. Kyo-Kyo took a fall to the head and he's unconscious."

"Well, now's a better time than ever to get him dressed!!!" Ayame continued on, chattering like a schoolgirl would, except in a deeper voice. "I personally have supervised several weddings, and I can't tell you what a hassle it is trying to get a nervous, fidgety bride into her dress on wedding day. I've often wished they would just fall into a deep sleep, so that we could lace up the back and arrange the train and veils more easily. Let's dress him now, while we've got the chance. Also, think what a wonderful surprise he'll feel when he wakes up and sees himself wearing one of my perfectly fitted works of art!"

"Ok."

Tohrue left the room while they unpadlocked Kyo and sat him up. Once they got him undressed (to his boxers, people), Yuki kept staring. One could only imagine the things running through Yuki's mind. He would have kept on ogling if Shigure and Ayame hadn't pulled out the gown and started dressing Kyo. Kyo's head rolled around on his shoulders as they wiggled him into the bodice section.

After running into trouble trying to get Kyo's arms through the armholes, they finally got him into the gown. Shigure and Yuki took each of Kyo's arms and lifted him out of the chair, holding Kyo upright. Ayame tugged gently at the cords running criss-cross up the back of the dress and tied them. He tugged here and there at the dress, fitting it to Kyo's body more snugly. After retightening the cords on the back, he expertly arranged the voluminous flounces of the extremely poofy skirt, and checked all of the various bows with a quick but gentle tug. He did all of this with a quick and well-practiced hand. Next, he crammed white high heels on Kyo's feet. They didn't really fit, but oh well. Finally, Ayame carefully folded up the lengthy train like a loose jellyroll and gathered it up under Kyo as they sat him back down on the wheelchair. The pulled the seatbelt back over Kyo and padlocked it, nice and secure.

Ayame's eyes were sparkling with happiness. "Oh, Yuki. The dress is perfect for him; I'm so glad. You two will be beautiful together, standing at the altar. The beauty of the love you two share will last eternally—I'm sure of it."

Yuki looked at Ayame and saw the sincerity in his eyes. "Ayame, thank you. Really, thank you. I haven't chosen a best man yet… Would…would you do me the honor of being the best man?" he said with a bit of emotion.

Ayame's voice went deep and kind. "Yes, little brother. But the honor would be all mine. Tohrue! Tohrue, it's ok to come in now!"

She did, and with a hand towel soaked with cold water. She folded the towel and put it on Kyo's forehead.

Ayame looked distressed. "Be careful!" He cupped his hands together under Kyo's chin, hoping to catch drops of water before they landed on the dress.

Ayame started screaming in agony. It sounded like Ayame was being tortured. Why? A small drop of water had landed on the dress.

"OH NO!!! AN IMPERFECTION!!! IT LANDED RIGHT ON THE HEM!!! IT LOOKS LIKE KYO DROOLED!!! OOOHHH NOOOO!!! IT DRAWS THE EYE RIGHT TO IT!!! NOOOOOO!!!"

"Aya, calm down. It'll dry," said Shigure, a little nervously. "It's not the end of the world…"

"WHAT IF PEOPLE SEE?! MY REPUTATION WILL NEVER RECOVER!!! BUSINESS WILL CEASE, AND I'LL BECOME A HOMELESS BUT FASHIONABLY DRESSED BUM, WANDERING THE STREETS IN SHAME!!!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU'RE MAKING MY HEADACHE WORSE!!!!" Kyo had awoken, and was glaring at Ayame. "What the hell are you doing here, anyway, you bastard?"

Ayame snatched the wet rag off of Kyo's forehead. He then ripped off his button up red dress thing. (Tohrue screamed and hid her face in her hands…but no worries, because Ayame was wearing that off-white under dress thing he wears for a while in the episode where he is first introduced). He rolled it up in his hands and wrapped it around Kyo's neck like a scarf. It was meant to act as a barrier, protecting the dress from water dripping off of Kyo's head, but Kyo took it a different way.

"Ewww, don't touch me with your clothing, you sick bastard! Get away from me!! What are you tryin' to do, strangle me?"

"There! That shall do well to protect the dress from further damage!" Ayame exclaimed.

Kyo looked angry. "Dress, what the hell—" He looked down at his lap. The color drained from his face and his eyes went wide in disbelief and fear as the ruthless, relentless horror that was his life greeted him again. His life was truly horrible.

Yeah, it was a wedding dress. Pop your eyes back into your head, Kyo. Accept your fate. You might as well, because there's no escape, buddy.

Kyo's screams tore through the forest. Birds roosting in the trees took flight at the racket. People in the city even heard the screams.

Kyo fell quiet when Tohrue touched his arm. Her touch had startled him. "Kyo, is something the matter?"

Kyo just sat there, looking at his lap with wide eyes. '_Dammit…_' he thought._ 'The wedding…it's still on…how did I forget…what the hell happened?…oh dammit, my head hurts…_'

Tohrue was still at his side. She produced a towel and wiped Kyo's forehead dry. "Kyo, does your head hurt?"

"Yeah…"

Shigure sighed, "Well, it would, seeing how _Yuki_ dropped you down the stairs…"

"I did not!! It was Shigure's fault anyway for letting go! Kyo, my love, please don't think badly of me! I wish you weren't hurt! All I want is for—"

Hush, hush," said Ayame, taking his red dress thing off of Kyo's neck. "Who dropped who isn't important right now. We've got a wedding to go to and nobody, including myself, is properly dressed yet! Here…" He gave Shigure, Yuki, and Tohrue their respective wedding clothes. "Get dressed, quick! We need to be there as soon as possible!"

Everyone ran off. Kyo was left alone. Kyo frantically thought, '_Escape!_' He tried to wheel away, but someone had the brakes locked on.

"Dammit!!!"

Yuki's head poked into the room. "Wouldn't want you rolling away now, Kyo, my sweet little kitty-poo…and don't hurt yourself trying to reach back there to release them—'cause you can't reach them anyway!" Yuki smiled happily (Kyo thought the smile looked more evil than happy), blew a kiss, and withdrew his head.

Kyo looked around for something within his reach to kill himself with, but sadly, there was nothing with which he could end his misery.

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A/N Poor Kyo, huh? I lol'd when I wrote the part where they dropped him down the stairs. And yeah, I'm an avid FF7 fan. Yay for Cloud!

And as I have said, I haven't written the wedding chapter yet. If any of you have any ideas about what the wedding should have in it, tell me in a review or a PM. I need to get writing it soon, since Kyo's already in the wedding dress. ^_^

And I'm sorry! I forget to respond to reviews! That's weird, because I like receiving them so much.

Erte Girl - Thanks! I did try to keep them in character as much as I could. Actually, I'd say that everybody except Yuki is staying in character pretty well.

Lovely Dork - Yay! I'm glad I made you laugh. Thanks for reading.

amaitoru - Wow! 3 consecutive reviews from you! I did have fun thinking of all the cheesy little names Yuki would call Kyo. I even try to rotate their usage to keep things interesting. And yes. Kyo is totally and completely doomed. Kagura bounced back very quickly, but she is the impulsive boar. I love writing about Shigure. He's so fun.

Silent Rena - Yeah, Yuki and Aya have the same passion and energy, I'd say. Thanks for reading!

MashMadness - No, Kyo isn't escaping anywhere. And I'm glad I'm doing my job--making people laugh and seem insane to others. ^_^


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Where's the ribbons for my hair!?"

"Yuki, fix your tie!"

"Lemme outta this damn wheelchair!!"

"Meow-sie-poo, settle down, my love!"

"Nobody touch Kyo's dress!! And Tohrue, yellow and pink ribbons for your hair, in order to match your dress!"

Shigure's house was full of excited (and in Kyo's case, desperate and frantic) shouts. Wedding day! After a few hold-ups (Kyo struggling, Tohrue wanting to take a few pictures, Shigure losing his poems and frantically tearing through the house looking for them, Yuki having to retie his tie 14 times before he got it right, Kyo volunteering to tie Yuki's tie then attempting to strangle Yuki with it, Yuki realizing Kyo's hands would be better tied to the arms of the wheelchair, Tohrue leaving the stove on and starting a small fire, Ayame's insistence that Kyo sit still…) they finally were ready and went to get in the Ayame's car.

Ayame's _little_ car.

"Kyo-Kyo won't fit in the car!"

"Good, cuz I'm staying HOME!!"

Ayame rubbed his chin in thought. "There's no other way. We'll have to strap him to the roof, on the luggage rack."

"WHAT!! Hell no! And untie me! I can't move my arms 'cuz of this stupid rope!"

Shigure solemnly nodded his head. "I agree, Aya."

"My sweet Kyo-sie-poo won't get hurt, will he?" Yuki implored with eyes open wide with concern.

"Of course not…" Shigure said. "I think."

They got rope and bungee cords. With much effort, they lifted Kyo and his wheelchair onto the trunk of the car. Then Yuki wheeled him up to the luggage rack. There, the three men strapped and tied him securely to the luggage rack.

"Won't he get bugs in his eyes and mouth?"

"Yeah… Here." Ayame magically produced goggles and a bandanna. When everyone gave him funny looks, he said, "Well, everyone has to be ready for a fashion accessory emergency. Now…We need him to be still so I cover his mouth and put these goggles on his eyes. How can we calm him down? He keeps moving his head around."

Shigure said, "Yuki, you know that book I showed you? The one I gave as a gift for honeymoon fun?"

Yuki blushed and nodded. Kyo paled and began struggling more violently.

"Show Kyo the beginning of the 9th position. That should cause him to suddenly freeze, like a deer caught in the headlights. The bright, brilliant light of sweet revelation of the fun to come."

Yuki blushed and…you imagine how he posed. Be creative. But don't put him a position where his tuxedo would get dirty, because Ayame would consequently freak out.

Kyo became quite still, eyes wide with horror. except for the trembling. He felt nauseous with terror of the sick mental image that popped in his mind. Oh no…Oh, God no…please no….

Ayame took advantage of the moment and thrust the goggles over Kyo's head and tied the bandanna around Kyo's nose and mouth. He also had crammed another bandanna in Kyo's mouth for good measure, effectively gagging him. Kyo began screaming, and it was muffled but still quite loud. We all know how much Kyo's lungs are capable of.

Shigure covered his ears. "Really, Kyo," Shigure yelled. "Calm down, you and Yuki will get to those fun little things later. Come, let us depart!"

They began driving. It was very bumpy for Kyo. Low hanging branches hit Kyo and he couldn't duck. A bird aimed a "present" at Kyo and it reached its mark. Bugs pelted Kyo, but at least Ayame's goggles and bandanna kept them out of his eyes and mouth.

Once they got to the city, people stared at the sight: a orange-haired young man, bound, struggling, gagged, wearing scuba goggles and a wedding gown, strapped in a decorated wheelchair and tied to the roof of a car. Of course, Ayame drove through the city nice and slow, so as to not overly jostle their rooftop passenger.

A child pointed and cried in a clear voice, "Look, Mommy! A freak!" Someone threw their ice cream at Kyo and called "I ain't voting for you, you crazy politician." A couple of college kids laughed and jeered loudly, "What happened, 'ya lose a bet?!"

Kyo heard all of these cries and struggled harder. Yuki rolled down the window and called, "Kyo-sie-poo, are you doing all right? You're making an awful amount of noise. My sweet Sugar Whiskers, we've only got a little ways to go to Sohma house, so you just relax."

Kyo's muffled screams became louder. Sohma house? Of all the places to go! Kyo would choose to roll around in a landfill than go to Sohma house. He left years ago, and he was determined to never return.

After thirty or so more minutes of suffering on the roof of the car, Kyo saw the dreaded lane. Sohma Lane. It even had its own sign. A little road entered a lovely wooded area. (Forgive me if I'm getting Sohma house wrong. I forgot about it, and I'm too lazy to pop in the DVD to check what Sohma house is like.)

After a few minutes of driving through the woods, with leaves lightly brushed with the color of autumn, the dappled sunlight creating a beautiful, relaxing ride, and the sound of a brook in the distance, Kyo felt like throwing up. His body was overcome with waves of violent shivering, and dread and nausea twisted his insides.

The main gate came into view, and cries of delight (Yuki) and cries of terror (Kyo) ensued. Ayame stopped the car in front of an intercom.

"Hello? May I help you?" said a familiar, childish voice.

"I'd like a burger with a side of fries…"

"Ayame, this isn't a fast food place! You're so silly! Can I speak to Tohrue? Tohrue! Tohrue! Are you there?"

"…Um..Yes?"

"Tohrue! Guess who I am!"

"Momiji?"

"Ding ding ding ding! You're right! Yay! This is so cool, Tohrue! I get to control the gate because everyone else is so busy, Hatori said it was ok, and he's off trying to calm down Ritsu. Ritsu accidentally smudged the frosting on the cake, and was so sorry, he almost knocked the whole thing over! It was scary and funny at the same time!! I saw him almost do it, he was carrying some folding chairs and wasn't watching…"

Kyo, for once in his life, was grateful for Momiji's big mouth. He mentally thanked Momiji for holding them up, and prayed that Momiji would forget to open the gate, or better yet, break the gate so no one could get in.

"Momiji," interrupted Ayame. "Your story sounds very interesting, but we need to get inside now for the wedding. There will be plenty of time for stories later."

"Oh. Sorry! Ok…ummm…"

The intercom was silent and the doors were still. Kyo prayed all he could that they would stay that way.

"Momiji," said Ayame. "You do know how to open the gate, don't you? Didn't someone show you?"

"Well, the gate guy did, but I…um…I wasn't really paying attention. I'm sorry! It's just that I was soooo excited about today!!"

Kyo smiled. Finally, one thing was going right.

"Ahh…. Well, isn't there some big lever or button? I myself am not acquainted with technology (fashion and costumes are my forte, as you well know), but wouldn't it be simple, like an open and close lever?"

"I don't see a lever…"

"Well, what do you see?"

"Ummmm, some buttons…a big round thing…"

"A big round thing."

"Yeah. And this stick-y-out-y thing…"

"…Uh-huh. Momiji, maybe you should look for someone to help you. Do you know where the man in charge of the gate might be?"

"He went to help set up chairs and tables. I'll go look for him!! Don't worry. This gate will be open in no time!"

Silence.

Kyo heard Ayame sigh. "I suppose we just wait here then."

Yuki stuck his head out the window and looked at Kyo. "Plushie-nose, my love, how are you doing? Are you comfortable? You're not sitting in the sunlight, are you?"

Kyo's eyes blazed with anger. "Mmmft-mm-mff-mffpf, mm mmff rmf!"

"Ok, Kyo-sie-poo, whatever you say." Yuki smiled, winked, and withdrew his head.

By Shigure's watch, thirty minutes had passed.

"Momiji's not comin' back, is he…"

"No, I'm afraid not. We'll have to open the gate ourselves. Yuki, Shigure, we'll need to work together."

They got out of the car and walked to the gate.

Ayame said. "Shigure, you'll have to climb up somehow and go to where Momiji was. From there, you can open the gate for us."

Shigure anime sweatdropped. "Hey, why me, Aya?"

"Well, Yuki cannot get dirty, he's the groom. Tohrue is a lady, and you wouldn't make a lady climb a wall, would you? …How utterly barbaric… And Kyo is in a masterpiece of a bridal gown, and on top of that, he's tied up. And I cannot do this because I need to adjust Kyo's dress later and attend to the bridesmaids and their dresses. The only one who can do the deed is you, Shigure."

"I don't really want to… You wouldn't be so cruel as to force me to climb up there, how inhumane!" pouted Shigure.

Yuki glared coldly at him. The world went dark, and a chilly breeze blew Yuki's hair in an impressively scary way. "Shigure, you _will_ do this. I will not have the wedding ruined just because you're too much of a sissy to climb a wall and open a gate. Now get _going_."

Ayame sweatdropped and Shigure shivered, but quickly regained his composure. "It appears that I have no choice. For the sake of the wedding and your (and my) future, I will try my best! I was actually not half bad in gym class in highschool…that is, when I wasn't slacking off with Aya and Ha'ri… you know, they're a funny story about that--"

"Just climb the wall."

We won't go into details of how he climbed the wall, but he did fall a couple of times, tried to convince Yuki to talk to local squirrels and have them lift him over the wall with raw squirrel power, and defiled Tohrue's ears with a few obscenities said in pain and/or frustration. But he made it to the, for lack of a better name, gate control room.

"Aya?"

"Shigure, you made it. Now what do you see in there?"

"Well, it's just like Momiji said. There's some buttons, a big round thing, and a stick-y-out-y thing."

"Surely there is a lever or button, clearly labeled with 'open' and 'close.' Isn't there?"

"There's this big round thing."

Yuki huffed with frustration. "We had to send an idiot."

"Shigure, why don't you look harder.."

"I am, Aya. Oh, here's a stringy thing. …Hey, the light came on! It's sure bright."

"Too bad _you're_ not bright, Shigure," growled Yuki into the intercom.

"Well, if you were here, you'd be confused too. There are too many buttons for simply opening a gate. Maybe I should just start pressing them all…"

"Shigure," said Aya. "I don't think you should do that…"

"Nonsense, what can possibly go wrong?"

It was a tense situation as beeps and tapping noises were heard over the intercom. Shigure was heard chuckling quietly.

Yuki, getting more and more frustrated, "Shigure, this isn't funny, this is serious."

"Oh hey! This one turned on the radio! _'… get the tingles in a silly place. They start in my toes, make me crinkle my nose…"_

"Shigure! Focus!"

Shigure started singing along. "…that you make me smile, please stay for a while, now. Just take your time, wherever you gooo…" The shrillness of Shigure's warbling was amplified through the speakers. It sounded horrible.

This was the last straw for Yuki. He strode to the gate, and with pure anger-driven power and a determination to get married, pulled the gates apart with his bare hands. Yuki slid through the opening in the doors and Ayame realized that Shigure was in immediate danger. Who knew Yuki was so highly strung over the wedding? Aya quickly followed, remembering Yuki's ruthless violence being directed at _him_ a couple of times.

The woods were quiet. A minute later, the gates opened fully. The three men came to the car and Ayame drove inside.

I've forgotten about Kyo! Ok, Kyo was hoping the whole time that more and more things would go wrong. When he heard Shigure talking about the big round thing on the intercom, he almost laughed out loud. And now, that song Shigure had sung badly, as annoying as it was, was stubbornly stuck in his head. When Yuki ripped open the gates, Kyo hoped that he'd pull a back muscle, have a vertebrae disc slip out of place, have a nerve become painfully pinched, become paralyzed, and then fall over and die. But that appears to have been too much to hope for.

And a single, pitiful tear slid out of Kyo's eye as he saw the gates of Sohma house open, realizing that the gates of his hopes, dreams, and future happiness just closed.

For finally, they were here, at the wedding. The union of Yuki and Kyo. Kyo's ultimate nightmare realized.

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A/N: Yo! You can't see me, but I'm hyper for some reason right now. *dances badly* Anyway, I can't stand Colby Calliat. I don't know how to spell her name. Her songs are boring and she sings so lazy-ish. Plus, her first name is a cheese. I like colby cheese. Man, do I love writing about Shigure. He's so fun to write about. He'd be really annoying in real life, though. I can't imagine if he were a real person.

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! *is still dancing* Why am I dancing? It's gotta be the song I'm listening to, "lejos de aqui (tecktonik remix)" by Kudai. It rawks.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

-----------------------

They found the site of the wedding at the edge of the Sohma house, far and out of the way. A large, wooden pavilion was in the center of a grassy lawn. It didn't have a roof or walls, but that was fine, because the pavilion was grown over with flowering honeysuckle ivy. It was very beautiful, with the honeysuckle weaving a fragrant roof above high above their heads, and walls of ivy curtains. The floor of the pavilion was made of large pieces of irregularly shaped flagstone, with bright moss growing in the cracks between the rocks. White and red roses were in pots set at regular intervals along the edges of the pavilion.

"Oh, this is beautiful…" said Tohure dreamily. She ran to the pavilion and stood beneath the flowers in happiness.

Yuki was just as enraptured by the pavilion. "Wow…So this is the pavilion used for Sohma weddings? How come I've never seen this before, Shigure?"

"Well, you said it yourself. Important weddings are held here. Maybe you don't remember, but when you were little, your parents probably told you to keep away from this area. No one wants kids tearing up that ivy. Over the years, many have been married under this pavilion. And just as the ivy grows and entwines over this structure, the lives of the people married beneath it grow and entwine as well. It's actually quite poetic, if you think about it."

"Yeah, real poetic, unless you were FORCED TO WEAR A DRESS, BOUND AND GAGGED, STRAPPED TO THE TOP OF A CAR, AND DRAGGED TO THIS DAMN PLACE FOR A DAMN WEDDING YOU'RE FORCED TO BE IN AGAINST YOUR WILL!! LISTEN TO ME!! I AM NOT GETTING' MARRIED!!!"

Yep. They finally took the gag off of Kyo.

Shigure chuckled, "Kyo, if you're nervous, just say so."

"GET THESE DAMN ROPES OFF ME!! I CAN'T MOVE 'CUZ OF THEM!!"

Kyo was still in the wheelchair, seatbelted, padlocked, and tied in. Yuki was distressed over his Kyo-Kyo's discomfort, but he reluctantly agreed that Kyo was overly excited and needed to be controlled. And now, everyone was thinking about gagging him again. He was quieter when gagged, as everyone who is gagged is.

"My love, you're so nervous and excited, you don't realize how out of control you're being. I'm very sorry, Sugar Whiskers, but you need to calm down. Please behave, this is our big day! I love you, Kyo-sie-poo, but I will gag you again if I have to."

"DAMMIT!! QUIT CALLIN' ME THOSE STUPID NAMES!! THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M MARRYIN' YOU, YOU INSANE DAMN RAT!!"

Yuki pulled out the bandanna. Kyo paled and became silent with fear.

A voice called in the distance. Would everyone participating in the wedding ceremony, excluding the bride, come to the main yard for the wedding rehearsal?"

"There's our cue," said Shigure. "Aya,Yuki, Tohrue, shall we?"

Ayame nodded briskly. "I need to adjust all of the outfits, so let's go. Come Tohrue, I'll make you look even more splendid in that dress. I wonder how it would look if I pinned the first flounce up two inches? But then again, with your height and the heights of the other brides maids… " Ayame and Tohrue walked off, Ayame going on and on about alterations.

Yuki patted Kyo's head. "Don't worry, my little Kyonkichi-kun. Once Ayame is done with the others' outfits, he'll return and fix yours. You don't have to worry about looking bad in front of everyone, my sweet Kyo-sicle."

"Yes, Kyo," Shigure cheerily said, "with a little work, you won't look like you rode here strapped on top of a car." He and Yuki chuckled and walked away.

Leaving Kyo trapped in a wheelchair, sweating. It was a sunny day, but Kyo was sweating more at the prospect of marriage than because of the sun.

Kyo sat there in the sun for a while. He was busy cursing his horrible luck when Kagura walked up to him, dressed in her frilly pale yellow bridesmaid dress.

"Hello Kyo."

"Hey."

"Kyo, I was thinking. I still have feelings for you."

Kyo raised his head and looked at her. Kagura saw perspiration on his face. "Oh Kyo, you're all gross with sweat on your wedding day! Here, I'll move the wheelchair."

She wheeled him around as they talked. They stopped by the food tables. There was a giant wedding cake, stacked five layers tall. There were two plastic figurines at the top, a cat and a rat. Kyo felt sick to his stomach, and not just because he didn't like chocolate cake.

"Anyway, what I was saying… I think I might still love you."

Kyo saw his chance. He had to act well to make this work. "Kagura… I...I… l-love you too… I don't want to marry that damn rat."

Kagura's big gray eyes brimmed with tears, and she looked away. She went to a candy dish and took a Hershey's Kiss. On the candy's paper tail, she read _Yuki and Kyo forever_. Good heavens, Yuki had pulled out all the stops for the wedding. Even getting personalized candy.

"Kagura, untie me and we can run away together! Anywhere you'd like!" Kyo thought, _'She can't say no! Maybe I still have a chance!'_

She thoughtfully chewed her chocolate kiss and took another one. "But Kyo, I didn't finish what I wanted to say."

Kyo blinked. He thought, _'What!? Why didn't she tackle me with a violent hug?' _

"Kyo, do you want some chocolate?" He shook his head.

Kagura giggled sadly. "Every Valentine's, you never eat chocolate. I always gave you the cutest little chocolates, and you never ate them." She popped a few more chocolate kisses into her mouth before continuing.

"I think I might still love you, but the thing is… It makes Yuki so happy to have you. It makes him happy, and Tohrue, and all these people you see preparing for the wedding. They're all happy for you. And who am I to make them sad? I never thought my love for you could be something so selfish."

"Kagura, I don't give a damn about Yuki's feelings, or other people's feelings. I will not marry Yuki. He's the rat, I'm the cat. I hate him. He cheated the cat out of the Zodiac Banquet."

Kagura blinked the tears out of her eyes. "Kyo, what you've just said only makes me even more decided. Yuki is happy. Soon, you will be too. The hatred between the cat and the rat will dissolve away. I can't be in the middle to mess that up. You have to be married to Yuki. That's the first step to happiness. So I've come to a decision; I will push my feelings aside for all the happiness of all the people, and yours and Yuki's happiness."

"But no, Kagura!"

"I've made up my mind. Good-bye, Kyo." She smiled at him, turned, and walked away.

Kyo wiggled around in his wheelchair as best he could with his arms tied. "Kagura! No! Come back!! Please untie me!! KAGURA!"

Nope. Kagura was gone. Kyo's only companion now was a plate of leeks Kagura had left him next to. Their tart smell reached Kyo's sensitive nose, and he retched. "Leeks! Who the hell would have leeks at a wedding?!?"

"I would, my love."

"Aw, hell. Not you."

Yuki continued. "Well, I knew you don't like them, but I do. I have fish for you though, my kitty-kun."

"I'm not hungry. Get away from me, you damn rat."

Yuki started to wheel Kyo around. Kyo sulked and looked around to tried to find something sharp to cut the ropes on his arms with.

"Kyo, my dear, you should see some of the cakes. See? Here they are." They were cute little cupcakes. Little orange cats or purple rats were drawn in frosting on them.

Yuki took a cat cupcake and licked the frosting off, smiling cheerfully. "See? They're tasty. Vanilla flavored, since I know you don't like chocolate. Here Kyo-Kyo, you take one."

Yuki untied one of Kyo's arms. Kyo raised his fist into the air, and smashed all the cupcakes within his reach, snarling, "Die, cupcakes! Die!" He brought down his fist repeatedly until Yuki grabbed Kyo's arm. Kyo fought Yuki's grasp madly, ripping his arm away and scratching frantically at the rope tying his other arm.

"Kyo, stop it! Calm down!" Yuki cried as he dodged punches to his face. "Plushie paws, calm down!" Yuki managed to get the rope around Kyo's wrist. Yuki tied Kyo's wild arm to the armrest of the wheelchair.

"Goodness, Kyo!" Yuki looked over the table and the smashed cupcakes. He was silent for a moment, surveying the damage. "You're right, those have so many calories. Thank you, my love, for looking out for my health."

Kyo screamed, "What?!?"

"I know, plushie-nose, look at the frosting you got everywhere! My tuxedo is splattered with it. And frosting and cake is all over you! I know you care for my health, but you didn't have to go about it so zealously."

Kyo screamed in frustration. '_This is messed up.'_ he thought.

Yuki was force-feeding leeks to Kyo ("Now let me look your for _your_ health. Here, these leeks are healthy.") when Hatori came to the two, dressed and looking sharp in a tuxedo.

"Kyo, how is that sprained ankle?"

"I think I'm healed now. Take this ankle brace offa' me and get me outta' this wheel chair. I think I can walk." _'Or run,"_ thought Kyo. _'Run far, far away."_

Hatori could not be fooled. "That is out of the question. You only sprained your ankle yesterday. It's ridiculous to think it would be healed by now." Hatori fidgeted with his necktie. "At any rate, I'm here to tell you that everyone's ready to go. Yuki, get cleaned off and get ready to walk up that aisle. And you, Kyo, I'm taking you to see Ayame.

"What for?!?"

"He insists of fixing up your dress before the ceremony. You look like you need it. Did you and Yuki have a lovers' squabble already?"

"NO! I DON'T LOVE THAT DAMN RAT, AND THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M GONNA MARRY HIM!!!"

But no one was even listening. Hatori was helping Yuki wipe the frosting off of his tuxedo.

"Good luck, Yuki. You'll be a married man the next time I see you."

"Thanks, Hatori."

And so Hatori wheeled Kyo to Ayame, and Yuki left.

--------------------

A/N: it's been a little over a month, but here you guys go. I've lost interest in this story. I just want to finish it so I can forget about it.

But enough pessimistic talk! My favorite part in this chapter was when Kyo smashed the cupcakes. Lol. Ok, bye then.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

----------------------------------

Kyo grunted. His face was red, and his eyes were set in determination, although they were bulging slightly. He was trying to commit suicide by holding his breath. Which isn't possible, by the way.

Ayame didn't even notice. He was cleaning and trimming Kyo's gown. It looked like new, which was amazing considering all it had gone through. And in only one morning, no less.

"Kyo," a voice called. Kazuma walked up.

"Master, please! Get me outta this!"

"The wheelchair? I may be your sensei, but I can't go against a doctor's orders."

"Not that! Well, getting out of this chair would be nice… Get me outta this wedding, Master, please! I don't wanna get married to Yuki!"

Ayame spoke up as he adjusted a string of little pearls on Kyo's bodice. "It sounds to me like somebody's nervous! Don't worry, Kyo, everything will be fine."

Kazuma nodded thoughtfully. "Kyo, you still cannot beat me in a fight."

"Well, no duh! ..uumm, no offense, Master."

"But you have a strength that I don't. Look at you! Chasing your dreams, laughing tradition in the face, and making the biggest lifetime commitment anyone can ever make in their life."

Kyo shook his head earnestly. "My only dream is to get away from this wedding, I'm not laughing at anything, and I don't wanna get married."

Kazuma didn't seem to hear. Kazuma was the kind of person who, once they got started, could continue with their speeches until they were completed.

"My grandfather never had anything. He was the cat, he was reviled, he was confined… But you have the strength to fight against that future. My grandfather didn't fight against tradition. He never realized his dreams."

Kazuma smiled at Kyo, eyes sparkling with happiness. "But you're fighting the biggest tradition of all – the hatred between the cat and rat, and the isolation of the cat. Kyo, my son, I'm so incredibly happy for you."

Kyo felt all strangled inside. "Master, you too? It seems like everyone's out to get me, to make me miserable."

Kazuma said, "Like Ayame said, you're probably just nervous. Making history gets people nervous. Getting married makes people nervous. Which is why I've done neither as of yet."

Ruffling Kyo's hair, he said, "Kyo, good luck, my son. I'll be sitting in the audience."

"Master, wait!" Kyo pleaded.

Kyo watched his Master walk away. However, the view was soon blocked by a gauzy white material. Ayame had put a bridal veil over Kyo's head.

"What a bride you are! Your fiery eyes shine like beacons from under this veil. Yuki will just die seeing you like this!"

"Here's hoping."

Ayame's golden eyes widened, then he burst into laughter. "Kyo! You're such a joker! Keep it up—laughing will relieve your stage fright. Ooh, and just in time! Here comes Ha'ri!"

"Ready Kyo?"

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

Oh, Kyo. Poor, poor Kyo…

--------------------------

A crowd was gathered under the ivy-covered pavilion, sitting on folding chairs. Cats and rats swarmed from who knows where, gathering peacefully to watch the wedding.

Yuki smiled dreamily. If that wasn't a sign from the heavens that he and Kyo weren't meant to be, he didn't know what was.

Organ music began to play. Yuki saw that Ritsu was the one playing the organ. Ritsu looked extremely nervous. Yuki hoped he wouldn't flip out and scream random apologies for no reason.

"Ready, little brother?" said a voice to Yuki's side.

Yuki nodded at Ayame, and they walked side by side up the aisle together. Whispers fluttered through the air, saying that Yuki looked so handsome, that he and Aya looked so much alike, that everyone was glad they were on good terms again.

Cameras flashed, recording every wondrous moment. Each time one flashed, Ritsu's fingers twitched and he played wrong notes. Yuki would have laughed, but instead he flashed a brillant smile at the cameras. They responded by taking even more pictures.

Yuki and Ayame reached the altar, where Shigure stood in priest robes. Yep, you read right. Shigure was going to marry Yuki and Kyo.

Shigure had one of his hands in the pocket of his robe, and he was giggling for some unknown reason. Instead of a Bible, Shigure held in his other hand what appeared to be one of his romance novels. Yuki rolled his eyes, but began to wonder if the marriage would be legitimate if an idiot like Shigure were to marry them. Most likely not, but no matter. All Yuki wanted was to be with Kyo, and nothing would stop him. Not even a rabid squirrel driving a bulldozer. Not even an insane gaggle of runaway circus clowns. Not even if the universe imploded upon itself.

Ritsu's horrible and even slightly abominable organ playing grew to a sloppy crescendo, and every head turned to see the entrance lovely blushing bride.

Kyo's face was blushing, alright, but with a green tinge. Kyo was going to vomit, he just knew it. If he had to, he'd aim at Yuki, and Yuki would be so disgusted that maybe he'd call off the wedding.

Nah. Kyo took a quick, loathing glance at Yuki standing at the altar, seeing the unmistakable determination Yuki would sometimes draw upon for strength.

Hatori was wheeling Kyo up the aisle because Kyo was, if you didn't already realize, tied and bound in a wheelchair. Even his arms and hands were tied up.

Before Kyo, Kisa skipped up the aisle, scattering rose petals on the ground. She looked adorable in her lacy yellow dress, and her little face shone with a smile. Kyo thought about how this wedding might actually be nice to go to, if he wasn't the one forced to be in it.

Kyo took his last chance, shaking and struggling in his wheelchair. Hatori hissed, "Hold still, I'm pushing your wheelchair as fast as I can. You'll be married in just a minute, don't worry."

Kyo and Hatori were flanked by Tohrue and Kagura on both sides, with Momiji behind, dropping more flower petals. Everyone looked absolutely lovely in their matching bridesmaids dresses. Well, Momiji was dressed in a creamy yellow suit, but he still matched the other girls. One can only hope he won't be gender-confused when he gets older. He seems to be setting himself up for it.

Kyo whispered desperately, "Kagura, we can still make it! Let's go!" She continued beaming her best smile for the audience and the cameras, shaking her head ever so slightly.

Kyo turned to his other side, to Tohrue. "Tohrue, I love you, I love to see your smile. Get me outta here, please, and we can be together."

Tohrue smiled, "Thanks, Kyo. I love you too! You're the best friend ever!"

"That's not what I meant!"

Hatori smacked the back of Kyo's head. "Be quiet. And you forgot your bouquet, here."

A huge bouquet of heavily-scented gladioluses and peonies were thrust in Kyo's face, and his nose immediately started to itch with the intense smell. He twitched his nose as the photographers took pictures. He couldn't even move his hand to itch his nose. He sneezed several times, coating the inside of his veil with spatters of spit and nose drippings.

With an upset stomach, Kyo was pushed up the aisle to his doom. As Ritsu played the wedding march, Kyo was wheeled to Yuki's side. Kyo wish lightning would strike him.

Shigure cleared his throat. "We are gathered here, on this joyous day, to join Yuki Sohma and Kyo Sohma in holy matrimony." Shigure paused for dramatic effect. "But, first we will enjoy a song custom written for this wedding, sung by our very own… Hatsuharu Sohma!"

Hatsuharu was standing by Ritsu and the organ. Hatsuharu was dressed in a sharp tuxedo, but of course, the collar was opened and his neck was adorned with the usual jewelry.

Haru began opera singing, if you can believe it. Ritsu nervously accompanied.

_L'unita eterna_

_Durare di matrimonio _

_Glorioso per l'infinita_

_Maledire per sfidare_

_Saranno come un_

_Il gatto ed il topo _

_Insieme nell'amore_

_Insieme nell'amore_

Haru held the last note as Ritsu played flourishes on the organ. The audience applauded and Haru bowed. Ritsu also tried to bow, but it looked more like a twitch.

"Now!" cried Shigure. "….A poem, by yours truly. …ahem."

_In the spring they'll run midst the fresh buds and sweet grass_

_In the summer they'll laugh in the sun_

_In the autumn they'll catch leaves of maple and ash_

_In the winter their year will be won_

People were wiping tears from their eyes. Kyo was also openly weeping, but not for the same reasons. He thought that was the corniest poem ever to be composed, and he was also miserable for reasons already well established.

Yuki thought his betrothed looked angelic. His face lightly obscured by the veil and tears running down his cherubic cheeks.

Kyo could barely see a thing. All he saw was his veil and the snot that decorated the delicate lace and netting. He wished he could hide behind this lace forever.

That last thought made him weep harder. He'd never had to think of anything like that before. He'd never had to hide behind lace in desperation to stay unwed.

"The ring, please?"

Hiro, disgruntled looking as ever, shuffled up the aisle holding a pillow. Atop the pillow was a golden ring with beautiful gemstones set in its center. Hiro reached the altar and held the pillow high, to Yuki.

Yuki took the ring, and to Kyo's horror, began talking. What was he saying?

Oh god. Wedding vows.

"Today,my mind is clear ('yeah, right' thought Kyo) and my commitment is strong and without reservation. I take you, Kyo, to be my life partner and we will share a lifetime of eternal and immeasurable love. And because of you, my dearest, I dare to dream again. I am proud to marry you this day. I promise to wipe away your tears with my laughter, and your pain with my caring and compassion. We will wipe away the old canvases of our lives. Together, we will fill them with new color, harmony and beauty. I give myself to you completely, and promise to love you always."

Yuki held Kyo's hand, which was painfully tied to the arm of the wheelchair, and slid the ring on Kyo's finger.

Great, if things weren't already bad enough, the ring was too small, making Kyo's finger red and swollen.

"And now!" said Shigure, all emotional. "With the power my publishing company invested in me, I now declare you…Husband and Wife! You may kiss the bride!"

Yuki smiled, "Finally!"

He lifted Kyo's veil. Kyo squeezed his eyes closed, scrunched up his face, and threw his head around in a final act of rebellion.

He couldn't help it. Kyo opened his eyes a fraction and saw Yuki's face getting ever closer, his pink lips ready to claim their prize.

Kyo struggled harder, desperate to dodge the kiss of death.

Suddenly, he sat up with a gasp. He was tangled in the blankets of his futon, breathing heavily. He threw the blankets off. He touched his lips in terror, and realized his arms weren't tied up.

Kyo looked around in the darkness of his room, noticing that his ankle wasn't in a cast.

'What? What just happened?! …no way, it was just a dream?!? YES!!'

Kyo stood up, leaping and screaming, "I'm not married! I'm not married!"

Yuki yelled through the walls, "Shut up, you stupid cat!"

Kyo's face spilt in two with a smile. "HELL, NO, YOU DAMN RAT! YOU DAMN, DAMN RAT!"

Kyo did a happy dance, but in the darkness, he stepped on something. He hit the floor, muttering, "What the hell was that?"

He turned on the lights, curious to see what he'd tripped on.

It was a plate of waffles, with whipped cream and strawberries on them. Kyo could tell, even though his foot had smushed them a bit, that the topping formed a smiley face waffle.

Wait, what?

----------------------------------------

_The end!_

_---------------------------------------_

A/N: It's done! Yay! So yeah, in the end it was all a dream. I planned it so from the start. It's called Kyo's Nightmare, after all. Hope you liked it, and that you liked the ending. Thanks for reading, and reviewers, thanks for reviewing. But I'm a little sad… there are more chapters than reviews. Oh well. 

And the song in Italian means:

Unity eternal

Glorious matrimony

Lasting for eternity

Defying the curse

They shall be as one

The cat and the rat

Together in love

Shigure's poem is mine. The wedding vows Yuki said are not. I got them from myweddingvows . com or some site like that. I'm sure as heck not that poetic.


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